February 14, 2005
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“I have the sense to recognize, but I don’t know how to let you go.” –Sarah McLachlan-
It is in his own words that I’m finding comfort— “Regret, you’ll find, at best is a waste of time.” This is not our fault, this is not my fault… I know, but it hurts just the same.
“And this Valentine’s, you were supposed to still be mine.” Songs about me, never intended to predict the future.
We buried my beautiful ex-boyfriend with my ring, our ring, the one he sang about in “Second Thoughts and Paper Hearts”… and we buried him with paper hearts that he would have appreciated, since he knew what it was like to try to make the heart shapes come out right. We buried him with cards & letters & fireworks & a lighthouse, with Jeremy’s lucky penny & someone’s watch, all carefully placed in his hand & at his side.
And it rained, it rained, it rained. And the wind was strong like Dave was angry, maybe that he did this, or maybe just that he didn’t see. It rained & we cried & it all went together so beautifully, if you’re morbid like that.
My baby, my baby, my baby. I loved you, I love you, to infinity & further & I always have & I always will. Always & forever, just like we said. You came first.
Wherever you are, angel for me… and I am so very lucky to have had you.
Comments (28)
baby, i love you so much.
<3
I love you…
It’s hurting me so much, I obviously can’t imagine what this is like for you. I listened to the dashboard cd he burned for me last night. I always just thought of it as his attempt to convert me to emo, lol. But really, as much as he loved music, he was thoughtful enough to do that for me, too.
I feel like I haven’t been very supportive to you right now. But it’s just that I’m really scared right now and just feel awful. But please know I care way more than you’ll ever know. Please call me if you can.
I feel so awful that this happened, and that we are left wondering what we could have done for him. As much as it hurts me, I feel even more pain for the people that were even closer to him, such as yourself and Kevin and many others. He introduced me to so many new things that will always stay with me, and he did the same for many of us. I’m truly, truly sorry Kate, and take care of yourself.
: hope you feel better soon
stay strong kate, please. for joel and mrs. K.
with love
-ben
and those song will never be the same w/out him here.
keeping you in my prayers.
alissa paige
I’m glad you’re finding comfort somewhere, babe. God knows we could all use more of that. I believe in angels (don’t know about you), so I also believe that Dave will be keeping an eye out for you, making sure to give you that extra bit of lift you need whenever you stumble along the road of life. Love.
I love you.
It’s ok…I obviously saw you too, but wasn’t sure what to say. I’m glad that I went today though. I really am. I think I would have regretted it if I hadn’t.
I don’t quite know what to say because I can’t even begin to comprehend such a loss, but even though we’re only subscribed to each other’s blogs, I offer my support to you.
I hope you feel better, and just know that the sun will soon shine for you, and you alone.
Maybe it was what you said…or maybe I’m finally realizing that such a beautiful soul won’t ever grace us here on earth again (but will in Heaven, and in dreams), but…I cried. I didn’t know him…all I really knew of him was his name, the fact that I’ve seen him from afar since at least middle school (maybe before, but my memories pre-8th grade are a little foggy), and what poetic words you spoke of him. (Your words alone made me care for the guy…even though I didn’t know him…I just…figured that there had to have been something special about him if he made you feel that good) I never doubted the fact that he was an angel sent to everyone he’s ever met (you, especially), but now…? Now he’s an angel looking down on his family, on his friends, and on you. He knows that you love him, Kate…and I’m sure that he’ll wrap you in his wings if you ever need reminded that he really did love you, too.
Katy,
I am so sorry. I saw you Sat. and wasnt sure wat to say but just to give you a huge hug. If there is anything i can do for you just let me know. I was friends with dave too. He was in my class my 10th grade year, and o we had so much fun!!! I am here for you and if you need anything let me know!!! With Love, Katie
*I am so, so sorry… it seems pointless to say, it doesn’t seem like nearly enough… but there are just no words to express the way I am feeling for this loss. Dave was a really great guy, beautiful in every way, which is what makes this so difficult to comprehend. I can tell he meant so incredibly much to you and it sounds like you must have meant the same to him… always remember that you both got to experience this amazing bond together and nothing can take that away. He carried that experience with him and you can always carry it in your heart, until you meet up again*
lovelovelove.
You know I’m here if you need anything.
Including someone to just listen…
I love you.
Kate,
I’m glad to see that you are being strong about this. But know that I would never leave Joel’s side, and intend to care for him forever. If you ever need someone to talk to, someone to just listen, you can get ahold of me. Like you said, we don’t really know each other either, but seeing you cry Friday made me realize that you were pretty kick ass too.
-Sammi
…yeah
katy- i’m so sorry and i know that there’s nothing i can say to make it better- but i’m sorry and i’m here for ya. love you- amy
<3
all my love, hope, and prayers to you, beautiful Katy
God bless you, stay strong.
i second sean’s … yeah.
I <3 you Kate – stay strong
of course you may come to the wedding…however, i’m not sure how it’s going to work seeing as he is 14ish and i’m 18..his parents might not go for that. But love will find a way! hahahaha
i love ur page!
hey kate…sorry through all this i have been kinda distant…i didnt really know the kozaks except for Joel and you and olivia where actually the ones that told me…i know you prolly cant see it right now..but it will get better…i promise. remember “joy comes in the morning” and also remember to look for your joy in the one that will NEVER let you down..or leave you. or forsake you. because people always are no matter what and how great they are…i think were real close so if you ever need to talk about anything..i am here..i have a cell know so it doesnt matter if you wanna talk at 2:30 cuz ill talk..thats why im here and i care…i will do my part as a friend and stay strong for you guys so if you need a shoulder…i have 2…and if you really want…i can turn around and you can use the other side too! so i guess i have four?? either way theres enough bone in josephs upper body to go around…prollly not the ebst picture…..
joey
by the way…is that bradon boe???