February 7, 2007
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“And this Valentine’s, you were supposed to still be mine.”
Two years ago, I called Dave to “chat.” Kevin had asked me to check up on him… he didn’t answer, and I can’t remember whether I left a message. Two years from this Saturday, Dave killed himself. And I don’t think the pain of it will ever leave me… sometimes I wish it would.
I wrote a column about it, a column that will be published in the Stater on Friday. I left a class today because as we discussed a classmates’ story of a suicidal young boy, I couldn’t handle my emotions. I wish, I wish, I wish – I wish I had another chance, another kiss, another apology, another do-over. I wish I could see him just one more time. I wish I remembered what his voice sounded like, what his face felt like, what. I wish I remembered that last time I saw him or the last time we spoke.“We will never be over.”
Comments (4)
i love you.
p.s. you look way different with long hair. whoa.
I remember the last time I saw him, as I was walking out of our room, he was watching t.v. with a friend…And i barely remember saying goodbye, but it was more like a see ya tomorrow type deal (even though we were leaving for break and he was leaving for Australia). It was like i would see him in a week, it still is very surreal to me. I’ve been trying to find some kind of closure in the past 2 years, but nothing really helps and I can’t seem to find any. I can’t believe it will be 2 years on saturday. I dedicated my radio show to him today. I played Sigur Ros – the first time i stayed at school for a weekend night we hung out, got intoxicated, and it is my most fond memory of freshman year, i played The Album Leaf, The Appleseed Cast, Elliott Smith and Lovedrug (the first indie albums he gave me / I listened to), and I finished out the 2 hours of dedication with For Me This is Heaven by Jimmy Eat World. I hope that you are holding up alright… The pain is still there, but when I think of how it was 2 years ago, I know that its getting a little easier to deal with. keep in touch, l8r ~Rez
*hug*
miss you.
*xors
i have a secret.. he’s not a real person. i’ve been faking it the whole time.
just kidding. =) you will meet him. i WANT you to meet him so that i can prove to you that he’s not a complete ass. haha!