January 22, 2005
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I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m MAD!!!
I’m mad at you for being perfect, for wanting all of my time. I’m mad at you for trusting me infinitely & for knowing me too well.
I’m mad at myself for not being perfect, for wanting to spend time with anyone else, for not trusting myself nearly as much & for not knowing myself nearly as well.
<<<Do you know who you are?>>>
I’m mad at you for saying you would call & not calling. For putting an away message up after I IMed you. I’m mad at you for not having a guilty conscience. I’m mad at you for confusing me & for talking about the things I don’t want to hear about but really do.
I’m mad at myself for waiting on your call, for IMing you again, for having too much conscience, for letting myself get confused, for being jealous when I have no right.
<<<Do you know who you are?>>>
I’m mad at you for leaving me behind & never thinking twice. For forgetting a year & a half of friendship that was supposed to be a lifetime of it, & for in one night pretending like nothing ever changed. I’m mad at you for never seeing me cry & for never wanting to apologize.
I’m mad at myself for staying behind, for thinking too much, for remembering too much & expecting too much, for letting it feel like it used to be, for crying in the first place, for wanting to say sorry.
<<<Do you know who you are?>>>
I’m mad at you for not being the redemption you were supposed to be, for not saving me when I thought you could. I’m mad at you for making me feel welcome & then shutting me out, for not asking me to go out with you, for not letting me into the circle of friends you already have.
I’m mad at myself for needing redeemed, & wanting saved, for savoring the welcome, for closing myself off, for ever wanting another circle of friends ever again after what’s already happened.
<<<Do you know who you are?>>>
I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m mad I’m MAD!!!
((( I’m sick of being mad.
I want to cry.
Hard. )))
Comments (12)
cry it out, honey. cry. that's what it was made for.
i love you sweetie. and you don't suck.
<3
Hey I wantr to tell you that I was talking about the emo stereotype not what it actually is. Bye
Kristin
p.S your site is cute
Man, I hope that whatever is amiss gets bettah. I agree w/ SpudsuckingLeprechaun crying it out just might help a bit.
I'm here if you need an un-biased ear to listen. Strangers are sometimes the best listeners.
Take care!!
it was amazing. did you like tilly and the wall? i love those kids.
where were your seats?
Take Peebles' advice, Katy... you have to let it out somehow... I'm always here if you need someone to talk to...
*Some reason I am confused as to what you're talkin about. Not to sound repetitive or anything, but like all of the above.. I'm here if you need to talk to someone. luv ya chica*
Hey, I am definitely in the same boat with you about those kinds of things. I get so upset and take things way too personally sometimes, you know? So then I get offended when people don't call/don't write/etc, and I cling to what we *used* to have, (we meaning friends/boyfriends/whoever), and can't accept in my heart that things just aren't the same. Then it snowballs into 'Why aren't things the same? Why did they not care about me anymore?' instead of the simple 'We grew apart', etc. Ugh, life. UGH. XO dear anyway, email me anytime or facebook me.
Sam
heh. that sucks. i sat next to some annoying people too. they kept making fun of anyone who was playing.... i was just like "why the hell are you here?"
we had good seat for being far back too. i had an awesome time, despite the idiots sitting next to me.
You write very expressively. You're good at that, I've noticed. It's nice to see you again (in a manner of speaking). I'd ask how you are, but this entry seems to hint that you're mad at someone. That's okay, though. Anger is a part of life; it happens, but you get through it and begin again, this time more aware but less afraid of the things that may happen because you know that you've lived through them before and you're better off for it. While we'd all choose to live a life without hardship, such choices are not ours to make; all we have to do is choose what to do with the situations we are given. Remember: you're certain to get somewhere if you only walk long enough. That's a bit of Lewis Carroll for you.
katy...hey girl...i miss ya a lot and i havent been caught up on anything because welllllll ok ill admit...im a bad friend...lol but i love ya lots and i agree with kev about that...cry it out and if you need a shoulder for that..just remember i have two...and a cell phone now which is exciting so use those beautiful 10 digits that are bestowed upon those 2 sparkling diamons you call eyes...wow deep...LOL
but pygmydino or something said it best...you will get through (that was a real deeeeeep comment by the way...i agreed and liked it) remember youve always get someone with you walking hand in hand
love ya girl like a sis
Joey (330) 351 5190 everyone whos anyone is using it.... :-/ i hope....lol
i totally feel you. i feel like when i read this i was reading a story about my life. i love you, i love you, i love you!
hmph. i like the one in green. i agree, about whoever it was. hmph indeed
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