Protected Post up if you want it… if you’re not on my list & feel you ought to be (or would very much care to be), please let me know. My Protecteds are probably boring & I don’t expect you to read them all the way through… but they help me just to write, and so they stay.

 

 Why is it easier to say online? I'm a writer. This is how I do. It just is.

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“Days are longer, nights are crazy.” –A Ha

 

What would you say if I told you I just got a fall job… as a lifeguard? That’s right… if I can train myself & pass the test, I’ll be guarding at the Nat this coming year, thanks to Mikey. I appreciate this so much & I’m excited to have something athletic and monetary to strive for.

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If you don’t have any Bloc Party in your musical repertoire, get going on that. Seriously. You’re laughing- I’m not laughing.

 

There was a lady at the pool today whose bathing suit was so old that it was almost entirely worn through in the butt region. The thing is, it was made of some odd material & I don’t think this lady probably even knew that the whole universe could see her butt-crack. Poor woman.

((()))

 

Needed: Kickass 80’s song recommendations to go on homemade compilation CDs to be played at next weekend’s party. Help me out!

 

Akron Aero’s game tonight with a few of my favorite people like this girl & this boy. Maybe Annie will even try another hot dog? That’s right, my best friend is 22-years old & tried her very first hot dog… last month.

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PS, I think Pat Benatar is obsessed with war. I mean, “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”? “Love Is a Battlefield”? Unless you’re into that sadomasochistic stuff, this is one lady you proooobably don’t wanna mess with. Whoaaaa, Patty.

 

PPS, I might just be obsessed with icons.... How very junior-high of me. Laaaame.

 

“You’re hopeless cuz you tell the truth; the stars are jealous of your shine.” –Train-

 

There’s a storm all over NE Ohio but apparently Cuyahoga Falls is at its epicenter so it’s not raining here. I want it to storm & storm & storm. I want to clean my room & watch New York Minute & My Best Friend’s Wedding & Get Shorty that I rented from the library today & write in my journal about how much I love spending the night with my boyfriend & the day with my best friend.

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My mom made turkey meatballs last night & she put this sauce on them that’s made of BBQ sauce & grape jelly mixed together. How weird is that? I was grossed out but they turned out to be amaaazing.

 

Annie & I ventured to the thrift today, the big skeezy one in A-K-Rowdy, and we perused racks & racks of hideous throwaways in search of the perfect 80’s ensemble. I, my friends, made out with an amazingly, horrendously, awesome stonewashed denim jumpsuit. Yes, I said jumpsuit. Annnnd it kicks ass.

((()))

 

Ummm, my neighbors’ scary felon cousin just moved in with them & he came over to ask us for their house key that we have & he freaks me out. Doors locked, check.

 

I’m really glad that the to-go bags at Jubilee Donuts are just plain, unmarked white bags, because then when I have empty ones lying in my car, no one knows they’re from chowing on maple crèmesticks & I don’t have to feel too ashamed.

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 Dane Cook’s new CD comes out either yesterday or today or tomorrow or something ANNND I can’t wait. Seriously. I’ll punch every bee in the face.

 

Hey, Kev:

“I’m on my feet, I’m on the floor, I’m good to go.” –Jimmy Eat World-

 

Sometimes when it rains, little bubbles pile up in the streets like someone poured dish soap down the avenues. They’re my favorite part of rainy days. I don’t know why they happen, but they do, and these rainy-day non-soap soapy bubbles make me smile.

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I cried tonight because sometimes every time I start falling, someone reaches out & cushions the blow. Am I so see-through that anyone who becomes close to me can read my every move? Then again, maybe that’s not even a bad thing. I know that Ryan Cabrera song “On The Way Down” is a love song for Ashlee, but it just makes me think of my friends:

on the way down

i saw you & you saved me from myself

& i won’t forget the way you loved me

on the way down

i almost fell right thru

but i held on to you

((()))

 

There was a lot of baby-mama-drama today at the FAC but minus the babies & their mamas. It showed that I can stand up for myself against people who think that this is still middle school; and that the word “holler” is not patented. Also, I AM a hollaback girl, Gwen. Holler back indeed.

 

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory is such a frightening movie, if only because Johnny Depp does that creepy laugh & the Oompa Loompas are all played by a dwarfish Indian man whose name sounds like a Crayola color.

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Tonight Marisa & I wandered the 24-hour Wal-Mart aimlessly, belting 80’s songs & looking for party costumes. I bought some plastic shot glasses. Adam, do you want one? Hahaaaaaa.

“She was in the habit of taking things for granted.” –Hot Hot Heat-

 

Trouble in paradise? Who even knows. I want to cry most of the time & I’ve run out of words to explain why. I used to think he’d understand everything, but now I’m always afraid he’ll leave me if I start losing my willpower to be happy.

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Kent. I can’t believe that it’s my school now… I feel so displaced- I’m not a Bobcat anymore- maybe I never was- but in my heart, I don’t have any loyalties to being a Flash, either. Will I make friends this year, or am I destined to be one of those CF’ers who never moves beyond her high school cronies?

......

 

And speaking of friends, and trouble in paradise, who even knows again. Sometimes it just feels like I put way more in than I ever get back, you know? This isn't aimed at anyone in particular- just a general feeling these days. I feel displaced on the friend front, too, I guess, never sure where I belong...
((()))

 

Fall job = zero. Nothin’ doin’ on that front… I’m lazy & scared & generally lethargic & haven’t applied anywhere but the Nat yet, which doesn’t feel hopeful in the pit of my stomach. I need an internship but I’m so damn afraid that I can’t even begin to look.

 

I’ve been in this funk for three days now. I’m trying hard not to be but I just feel so sluggish & lackluster, like everything has lost its shine. I sure hope this is a temporary condition…

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 I’m pretty much too frustrated to speak. Ever get so fed up that you just can’t even talk & all you can do is cry & pound your steering wheel? But I work at 9 a.m. tomorrow anyway, so I’m going to bed...

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“Both of us never tiring, desperately wanting.” –Better Than Ezra-

 

I’ve been a waste of space on my two days off. Yesterday I slept, swam, slept some more. I went into the FAC on my day off. Whaaaat? Addiction.

 

I can’t stop reading Harry Potter. I blame Hogwarts & its underage wizardry as the source of my uselessness. Indeed, I spent all day today reading rather than running errands, a.k.a. finding a fall job, in favor of fighting the Dark Lord with Harry, Ron & Hermione.

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Yesterday was Kevin’s & my two month & so we went on a date, which we decided to do every month from now on. We went putt-putting & I’m proud to announce that I WON! Yes, after a thousand lost bowling games, I rocked this miniature golf game 58-61. Ate a scrumptious dinner at Friday’s & partied with the ’05-ers at Kyle’s house.

((())) 

 

I think I see Robert on his front porch playing guitar. I think. My eyesight sucks. It might be his mom or someone, sans guitar. Whatever. And by the way, mine still hasn’t been played but I’m calling Nate for lessons tomorrow.

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Oh, my mom is home. Byeeeee.

 

 EDIT: I fell out of a deck chair today. The chair fell on top of me & even though it hurt real bad, I laughed cuz who does that?! My mom laughed, too.... but man, my foot kills. Man, am I clumsy.

 

love angel music baby

hurry up &

come &

save me

“It’s like the summer’s a natural aphrodisiac.” –Will Smith-

 

Not very many parties deserve to end in the suffix “-palooza.” It’s reserved for crazy, out-of-control, telling-stories-for-the-next-three-years, if-you-weren’t-there-you’ll-regret-it-forever parties… and Saturday night’s blowout definitely makes the cut.

 

VARTAPALOOZA was the most insanity I’ve ever witnessed (…and by witnessed, I mean “participated in"). A “-palooza”-worthy event thru & thru, as this list will attest to:
 

·         Close encounters of the sexual kind

·         Shots being taken off of various body parts

·         Liquor galore- lemon drops, Code 99’s, you name it…

·         Two kegs & a billion cases

·         Whipped cream bikinis & licking them off

·         Thirty seven different hookups- whorebags much?!!

·         Mud-wrestling & wet wifebeater contests

·         Girl-on-girl action & pseudo-underage scandalousness

·         Naked FAC’ers in inflatable swimming pools

·         A hickey the size of friggin’ Africa

·         Numerous occurrences of puking & blacking out

·         A culprit who peed all over Vartan’s room

 

My favorite quotes of the night (that I can recall) include:

·         ”JEWS IN THE POOL!”  -me-

·         “This is hot. I think I have a boner.” –KP-

·         “Who wants to f**k me tonight?” –Rachel-

·         “I don’t want to diiiiie!” –Steve-

 

I hope to never do most of the things I did on Saturday night EVER again… but it was fun while it lasted. And by "fun, I mean- no, seriously….

"...it was FAC’in nuts!"

“Alright, stop what you’re doin’ cuz I’m about to ruin the image & the style that you’re used to.” –Humpty-

 

My amazing boyfriend gave me my birthday present early last night. Here are three clues as to what it is:

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That’s right…. I cried when he gave it to me. I was THAT HAPPY. How freakin’ awesome??? I can't wait to learn how to play my new Fender.

 

I saw a boy with a Spongebob bathing suit that read “I’m Ready!” across the butt. It seemed vulgar & perverse to me.

 

I went to On Tap with KP & my mom last night where we heard a table of people ask the waitress what kind of merlot & cabernet they served. Kev & I laughed because, hello?! Who goes to ON TAP & orders… wine???

 

And now… pics of last night & me with my newest friends.

Gettin' sassy with Mel & Danielle & a yellow Fruit Loop.

Joel & Leann goofin' around & being antisocial in the TV room

 

Gettin' LOOPY with Face. Know what else is loopy in this pic? My hair. WTF?!?!

Kevin & Kyle (the Waterworks crush) gettin' jiggy with it

 

 

Me & the boy (), lookin' a little sweaty. Siiiick. 

 

Annnnd VARTAPALOOZA is tonight. Who knows what those crazy FAC'ers have up their sleeves... I can't wait!

“The American dream can be found here if you keep your mouth closed.” –Rocky Votolato-

 

So much shit on my mind right now that I can’t even think straight. I’m freaking out with worry & I can’t separate everything… just a couple more days until I can figure out what’s really going on & come up with a solution. So cryptic, yes.

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Last night was maybe the most boring ever after Conor tried to have political & religious discussions with all of us & I gave up & fell asleep on the couch. The excitement came when Sean vommed for no reason, but we got another line no one’s ever said before- “I think Ringo is ingrown.”

 

Sean claims that Nyquil tastes like Jaeger & I wondered aloud whether you could make a Nyquil Bomb (with Red Bull). And apparently Sean’s already done it! I thought I was being so innovative….

(((+=  )))

 

I generally love my job but I have no desire to work whatsoever today. I desperately need money, as I’m wallowing in the depths of college-induced poverty, but I just can’t bring myself to go put my polo on. What the FAC.

 

So moody today. This better be PMS because if I’m just this bitchy… well, yikes.