July 18, 2005

• “It’s like the summer’s a natural aphrodisiac.” –Will Smith-

  
  

   

  
  

  Not very many parties deserve to end in the suffix “-palooza.” It’s reserved for crazy, out-of-control, telling-stories-for-the-next-three-years, if-you-weren’t-there-you’ll-regret-it-forever parties… and Saturday night’s blowout definitely makes the cut.

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

  VARTAPALOOZA was the most insanity I’ve ever witnessed (…and by witnessed, I mean “participated in"). A “-palooza”-worthy event thru & thru, as this list will attest to:
   

  
  

  ·         Close encounters of the sexual kind

  
  

  ·         Shots being taken off of various body parts

  
  

  ·         Liquor galore- lemon drops, Code 99’s, you name it…

  
  

  ·         Two kegs & a billion cases

  
  

  ·         Whipped cream bikinis & licking them off

  
  

  ·         Thirty seven different hookups- whorebags much?!!

  
  

  ·         Mud-wrestling & wet wifebeater contests

  
  

  ·         Girl-on-girl action & pseudo-underage scandalousness

  
  

  ·         Naked FAC’ers in inflatable swimming pools

  
  

  ·         A hickey the size of friggin’ Africa

  
  

  ·         Numerous occurrences of puking & blacking out

  
  

  ·         A culprit who peed all over Vartan’s room

  
  

  
  

   

  
  

  My favorite quotes of the night (that I can recall) include:

  
  

  ·         ”JEWS IN THE POOL!”  -me-

  
  

  ·         “This is hot. I think I have a boner.” –KP-

  
  

  ·         “Who wants to f**k me tonight?” –Rachel-

  
  

  ·         “I don’t want to diiiiie!” –Steve-

  
  

   

  
  

  I hope to never do most of the things I did on Saturday night EVER again… but it was fun while it lasted. And by "fun, I mean- no, seriously….

  
  

  
  

  "...it was FAC’in nuts!"

  • 7:05 pm
  • 7 Comments