“It’s not the fall that hurts- it’s when you hit the ground.” –Caesars-

Driving home from class today, I passed the UPS truck as it exited my neighborhood. DAMN ITTTTT!!!! I missed my mp3 player being delivered by approximately 45 seconds or something. Suhweeeet. Anyways, I called & had the delivery address changed so that it’s delivered to Christina’s house tomorrow & my faux-mom can sign for it.

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I got Fazoli’s today for the first time ever & I accidentally dumped WAY too much parmesan cheese on it & it flipping tastes disgusting. In other parmesan cheese news (has anyone ever said that before, Sean???)—my mom purchased some faux-parm that’s somehow made out of vegetables. How on earth you can develop parmesan cheese from veggies is beyond me & I therefore refuse to try it.

((()))

My sunroof, which is defunct & does not open, had the audacity to start leaking all over my head today. You bitch—you don’t even open, yet you’re still allowed to leak? So I shoved a (clean) sock in the leak to absorb the water & felt extra-sweet for driving around with a sock dangling over my head.

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I just complained a lot, huh? Today hasn’t even been bad, just minorly eventful in the most boring ways possible (UPS, cheese, sunroof?).

But, hey—you know who IS having a bad day? Those people in the south—and “bad day” is the biggest understatement of all time. So you should do what Heather & I did, and go here to donate to those in need. Even $5 is a bigger help than you may realize- or hell, sacrifice an effing case of beer or a dinner at the ‘Bee’s & donate $10 or $20. We can all afford it- and they sure as heck need it. Do your civic duty as a human being & help out, okay?

......

...God Bless...

“I just want you to feel beautiful for once in your life.” –jamisonparker-

EDIT>>> There's another Protected Post up. A real one.

Ohhh, it’s a good one today, folks. Definitely don’t skim this one over.

Okay, so, first day of school—check! Embarrassing stories to recall when I know Kent well enough to look back & laugh at them—check!
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·          While picking up a large Mountain Dew (for energy, duh) at Speedway, a cop in line behind me who’d be giving me the hairy eyeball asked to see my ID because he thought I was a high school student ditching class.

·          I got to my first class a billion minutes early & the prof chatted with me & then proceeded to mention to the class, like, nine times that we have a “senior transfer student in our midst,” like I was a rare species of exotic bird or something.
((()))

·          I had a location fiasco when I went to the wrong room in the right building & then the wrong room in the wrong building & finally back the right building, right room, where class was full & I had to sit on the floor, sweating my proverbial balls off from running all over campus.  

·          Awoke from a long nap & rushed to my 5:45 Video class, where the door was locked & the whole class glared at me as I walked in late. Proceeded to discover that I was, in fact, in the incorrect place, since my section of the class does not begin until October.

In other news, I found out why I am generally sweatier than Don Vito wearing sweatpants in Jamaica Brilliant me never thought to look into the side effects of the medicine I began in May—“profuse sweating” happens to be result #1. I have a doctor’s appointment next Monday & lemme tell ya, I’m off of this shit, stat, because I’m sick of going swimming every day.

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PS- Overall, being a Flash is not so bad. I like the campus & the people seem to smile a lot… I’m quite lonely but I figured that was a likely thing to happen, seeing as I’m all alone there… but I do like it. Thank (insert your favorite divine body here).

“I know there’s a big world out there like the one I saw on my screen.” –The Postal Service-

The college graduation party that’s going on at the Nat right now smells like tabouli & tabatchnik & pita bread. Everyone in attendance is drunk & I expect to be here until 9:45 or so, probably putzing around on this computer for most of the time.
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I had the most absurdly awful phone altercation EVER with the Dell company last night- I spoke to no less than 12 operators, one of whom gave me an incorrect number for the customer service center which resulted in my accidentally calling Consumer Reports magazine. When all is said & done, though, in 3-5 days I’ll be the proud owner of a Dell mp3 player.
((()))

I want to live on campus during second semester, in a single- the cost per semester is $2,925 for the dorm that I’d most like to call home… but at that price, it looks like I’ll just be calling home home for the next year.

I’m on an Amazon binge. Seriously. I think I have an online shopping disorder… and it’s glorious.
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"So long, sweet summer." -Dashboard Confessional-

I caved in Wednesday night & went linedancing at the Dusty Armadillo with Marisa, Annie, Lisa, Peebs & Michelle. Let's just say I felt like I was in a foreign country- so not my scene. At one point, Kevin & I looked around & noticed that we were the only kids in the joint wearing Chucks. Eventually, we retreated to Marisa's car to nap until our friends were finished being bumpkins.
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Last night I dreamt that while on a hike with the McGarvey boys, a small white spider bit me & I had an allergic reaction to its posion, which spread down my arm & left a trail of white boils. I went to the hospital & was treated by a doctor named David something, who was Jewish, & the fiance of someone whom I didn't recognize when I woke up. It was so realistic that when I awoke, I frantically checked my arm for spider bites.
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That fabulous boyfriend of mine brought me my favorite sandwich from Quizno's yesterday when I was supposed to be working a double.

I can't even believe that summer ends in approximately 72 hours. At this time on Monday I'll be in my first class, even though I forget what it is. I'm used to having a week off between work & classes, OU-style, so I feel like this can't possibly be the end...

P.S.- We're listening to a Sting CD at the at FAC. I have always been 99.9% sure that Sting & Raffi are two halves of the same person.
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“Let the past be past; let’s start today.” –Anberlin-

There’s a Protected Post up that you may not even understand.

Last night Kevin took me to the Cheesecake Factory & when the server asked the woman at the table next to us if she was interested in dessert, she said, “Yes, I’ll have a piece of that cheesecake.” And the waitress looked confused & annoyed, as if this was a regular occurrence, & asked, “Umm, which cheesecake, ma’am?” They have approximately 25 different kinds or something.

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Today I’m wearing teal at the FAC. I look forward to it- I haven’t tealed it for two years now. It’ll be nice not to be in charge for a day.

Something about fall is intoxicating & depressing all at once. I won’t pretend that fall doesn’t remind me of old memories & times past & people long gone from my life, at all different stages of my past… I look forward to starting school at Kent, no matter how terrified I am-- & no matter how many times I profess that fear, I don’t wish myself back at OU.

((()))

Kevin, Ryan, Brandon, Peebles & I went to see “The 40-Year Old Virgin” last night & I was the only person who laughed- okay, howled hysterically- when the Smart Tech manager sang a Spanish lullaby.

Anberlin’s “Stationary Stationery” makes me cry. I’m crying. Oh God… This band is my new obsession.

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I wish I was living on-campus. I wish there was a Sigma Kappa chapter here. I wish I had a cool work-study job. I wish I had friends here. I wish I knew where my classes were. I wish the school website was easier to use. I wish I wasn't a commuter.

I wish I was going back to OU...

Who let me make this decision? I'm freaking out.

“All my life I’ve been sorry for something- sorry gets me nothing.” –Ashlee Simpson-

I’m at the Nat, working the Class of 1980’s 25-year reunion. It’s so much fun, bullshitting with the other lady I work with & the Rent-A-Cop about the party guests, deciding what each of them was like in high school- the sluts, who are still wearing mesh tops & carrying gold lamé purses; the burnouts, who are still wearing Birks & have long, scraggly hair… I wonder where my class will be in 25 years.

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I think it’s hilarious that on electronic credit card machines where you sign your name on the screen with the stylus pen, it says, “Please do not use pen.” Okay, honestly, who uses an ink pen on a computer screen? I crack up every time I sign one.

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Also, the Class of 1980 has a band playing that knows every song known to man. Currently playing: “Play That Funky Music, White Boy.” My favorite was when they sang the Neil Diamond, “Hello, my friend, hello” one. I thought of Saving Silverman & almost lost it.

Funny how in the past week I’ve been threatened twice by angry coworkers who say they’ll report me to our supervisor and/or have me fired. Awwwwesome.

((()))

Of course Ben is having a party the one night I work until past midnight. Soooo, that’s out. I know it nearly typhooned today, but I’m still praying for rain tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me, friends!

"Hit me, I can take your cheap shots." -Jimmy Eat World-

 Know what's a terrible feeling? When you're in an argument with someone & you feel so strongly about the other person's being so ridiculously wrong that you can't even see straight. You want to smack them upside the head for being so stupid & immature & selfish, & you're so angry you can't even think of them without smoke coming out of your ears.

Or when you dislike someone intensely, but it's someone who matters to the person who matters most to you. When you try to like them for the other person's sake, but you just can't, because they keep dicking you over & no one else even sees it.

Or when you cry so hard you can barely stand up, & you know you've lost the trust of someone whose trust matters the most, & no matter what they say, you can't stop beating yourself up about it because, really, how could you do such a thing?

And in the end it all comes down to trust, doesn't it? Trusting your friends not to turn on you; trusting them to believe in you when nasty rumors spread; trusting yourself not to revert to your old ways.

This is so cryptic, I know.

Let's just say it's about time for summer to end. Everyone is cranky & irritable & only looking out for number one, and it's starting to show very clearly. I'd forgotten how ridiculously dramatic home can actually be.

“Things are better, and softer. Words mean much more to me.” –Rocking Horse Winner-

Courtesy of my birthday money a la my grandma, I went on a mini shopping extravaganza last night. Four tops, two pairs of shoes, one purse & ten pairs of earrings later, I’m looking forward to fall a liiiiitle bit more. Soooo material.

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Me: “Is there something weird about three girls streaking together?”

     Peebles: “Nah, it’s bonding.”

Even though I get pessimistic sometimes (& who doesn’t?) I’m really at a place in my life right now where I’d be hard-pressed to squeeze in much more happiness. This summer has been incredibly drama-free, I’ve finally found myself with an amazing guy whom I can’t imagine my life without, I’m back at home in the city that loves me, & I’m starting a scary but still exciting new chapter of my life in a couple of weeks. If you’d told me six months ago that I’d be this happy today, I wouldn’t have believed you. I was in such a dark place… but now, that’s over, fading… and I’m so lucky to be here.

((()))

Speaking of this non-drama summer, though, that makes it even worse when people start sh!t with one of my best girls. It’s sad that so many people we know can’t seem to get out of high school & into real life- sad that they can’t recognize a good friend when they see one. And for the record, I’ll defend you til I turn blue in the face if you need me to, babe. You know who you are.

It’s gloomy & glum but the FAC is still open. Woooot. Peace out.

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“If there’s nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night?” –Britney Spears-

My “vacation” into the boondocks of PA was much-needed & extremely relaxing. Last night I spent three hours laying in the bed of a pick-up truck with my cousin & his two friends & a massive dog named Chelsea, drinking Pepsi & listening to Dane Cook & watching the meteor shower & just talking. Is there anything simpler or more satisfying?

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The Core Four was literally non-existent this summer. Sometimes I remember things from last year- like that game of Trivial Pursuit, remember? Where we were already all together when everyone else wanted to hang out, & we tried to be tricky about it? And then I tell myself, “Shut up, memory,” because what good is it to dwell on broken friendships? I did my part to ruin what was there- I can’t regret the past.

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School starts relatively soon & I can’t help but be terrified. Being a commuter sounds so lame after being at OU. I feel like my “college experience” is over- no late night festivities, no ever-present housemates, no uptown chicanery. From here on out, is college about nothing but the basics? Studying & going to class? (*gasp*) And who the hell makes new friends their senior year? I feel like such a fucking failure already & there’s this sense of impending doom that comes with knowing I’ll be living at home for the next God-knows-how-long.

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Whoa, pessimism. Sorry. Live deep, pure joy, no regrets. I’ve grown to despise the guy I know who has that as a tattoo but his assholeness aside, it’s a damn good motto.

Coming home from vacation is such a letdown of a feeling. Welcome home, love…