August 12, 2005
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“If there’s nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night?” –Britney Spears-
My “vacation” into the boondocks of PA was much-needed & extremely relaxing. Last night I spent three hours laying in the bed of a pick-up truck with my cousin & his two friends & a massive dog named
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The Core Four was literally non-existent this summer. Sometimes I remember things from last year- like that game of Trivial Pursuit, remember? Where we were already all together when everyone else wanted to hang out, & we tried to be tricky about it? And then I tell myself, “Shut up, memory,” because what good is it to dwell on broken friendships? I did my part to ruin what was there- I can’t regret the past.
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School starts relatively soon & I can’t help but be terrified. Being a commuter sounds so lame after being at OU. I feel like my “college experience” is over- no late night festivities, no ever-present housemates, no uptown chicanery. From here on out, is college about nothing but the basics? Studying & going to class? (*gasp*) And who the hell makes new friends their senior year? I feel like such a fucking failure already & there’s this sense of impending doom that comes with knowing I’ll be living at home for the next God-knows-how-long.
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Whoa, pessimism. Sorry. Live deep, pure joy, no regrets. I’ve grown to despise the guy I know who has that as a tattoo but his assholeness aside, it’s a damn good motto.
Coming home from vacation is such a letdown of a feeling. Welcome home, love…
Comments (13)
I know what you mean about feeling like a failure. Deep down I know that neither of us are failures, but sometimes when I'm reminded of how I haven't taken the normal college path (since a few people seem to take joy in reminding me and showing their disapproval), it's easy to fall into that mindset. I guess we can't let that get to us, right? Anyway, things may be different for you being at home, but I have complete faith that you will make new friends, not to mention you will have all the people here who already know and love you. I'm so proud of you, Katy and I love you so so much.
PS: I'm babysitting for Jack overnight on Saturday so I don't know if I'll be able to make lunch on Sunday, but Monday might be good. I also have a question about Monday, so call me! xoxo
I like your polka dots
~elise
That sounds like a really kick ass vacation.
i don't even fuckin know who drove my car ho,me ;ast night but thank you thank you thank you. lisa drove me home and parked my car in the driveafter a long redrunkulous night....stories to tell tomorrow..........holler.
i wish i could've been somewhere to see the meteor shower...damn.
glad you had an awesome time.
The 80's-style pic is fabulous. It's better than Glamour Shots by Deb.
you can still come study session with us! i'm in section 002 if you care enough to want to switch, and have a flexible enough schedule. that's mwf 12:05-12:55
Screw the core four... the peel's there for a reason, damn it.
Later!
Sorry you're bummed being home aready. But I think Kent (while I can't imagine will live up to OUness) will be ok for you and PLENTY of people make friends their senior years. Simmer.
I'll be seeing you tonight I'm sure... are you going to Brian's? I hope so cuz it sounds like Ann will be occupied touching base with Joann's people that are suppose to be there.
thanks
p.s what days do you work so I can stop by then to say hi
hey how are you?
<3johnny
I think everybody makes friends their senior year. How can you not?
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