September 2, 2005
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(((This is a good one. A long one, but it’s worth it. I promise. Annnnd GO.)))
Today I remembered something very important- it doesn’t really matter what everyone else thinks. I’m not sure how or why I let myself forget it.
Could I be any more loved? I really don’t think so. And I don’t think it matters, what I’ve lost or who I’ve lost, or where those people are now or what they think of me. The people who love me are incredible- my mom & my family & Christina & Annie & Tav & Marisa & Lisa & Kevin & Sean & Peebles & Michelle & Jess & Megan & Scott & my God, who even knows who else? That should be MORE than enough to keep me from ever wanting for anyone else who may have proven to be anything less than true.
I have wasted so much of my life missing my past. I’ve spent so much time being bitter & angry at people who could care less about my feelings- ex-friends & ex-boyfriends & various other people who never liked me in the first place. And for what? So that I could stay up late at night & cry & say nasty things to the people who have hurt me that will never come remotely close to hurting them?
And so what do I care if one of my old-skool, long-time best friends thinks I’m “weird & alternative” now? What do I care if my ex-boyfriend-slash-former-best-friend is in a Facebook group called “My Ex-Girlfriend is a Whore”? What do I care if the Clovers never think of me ever again or if the majority of Sigma Kappa forgets I ever existed?
And starting today, I don’t. I really, truly don’t. I am learning, today, not to care about things I have lost. If they come back to me in the end—well, that’s beautiful, isn’t it? But if they don’t… there’s so much beauty in my life that I don’t need anything as destructive as regret poisoning it.
“Be who you are & say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter & those who matter don’t mind.”
Comments (16)
regret is a terrible thing that can haunt someone, im learning how to let things go and be happy with my life too
God I hope I get to that epiphany soon. I am the same- walking on eggshells, wanting to impress and please everyone allll the time, and feeling let down when I don't. Why should it matter? It's my fucking life. Hopefully those words actually get through to my head. Glad they made it into yours!
awesome entry girlie. this sigma kappa will never forget you. have a super day!
word
Fam 4 Life...
See you soon!
i work for the daily kent stater
Congrats on surviving your first week as a Flash! By the way, that's my favorite quote of all time. Love the Dr. Seuss.
indeed.
i love you sooo much.
remember.. you're always a part of circ, just as much as me or anyone else. *hug*
*xors
ps: my dancing banana is waaay cooler.
I love you! We're so different, and there are so many things I disagree with you on. But I care about you so much no matter what. No matter where life leads us, I'll always be your friend. I have our time capsule in my closet and we're opening it in the next year! That is, if Miss Miyuki can make it back sometime.
Tav
Hope school is going good! Talk to you this weekend hopefully!!!
*peace*love*joy*
Sorry.
All that matters is you if you feel like you're being the best you can be and making the best choices.
That was an awesome entry!!! I loved it!! : - )
I love you, and I’m always here for you.
i can relate so much. I really hope things are going well for you.
no i lied today, my edit was about dj, hes being a complete douche bag. i just didnt wanna say it in front of everyone else.
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