The computers in the KSU library (I don't know even knew its name-- I <3 you, Vernon Alden) don't have Microsoft Word. Can you tell me what the eff this is about?

Met Annie for lunch at Chipotle today, which was pretty much orgasming in the form of tacos. Or something.
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Tonight my Newswriting professor is choosing one of the "man on the street" articles we wrote Thursday to be published in the Daily Kent Stater. My article sucked because I know zero about healthcare but Ameir & I are praaaaying that one of us gets the Stater article anyway.

I bombed a Geology quiz today. Whoever said I cared about plate tectonics anyway?
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A side-effect of my new medicine (Wellbutrin XL- is anyone on it?) is extreme weight-loss. I sincerely hope that this is the side-effect that my immune system chooses to exhibit.

“Dreamin’ of what could be & if I’ll end up happy…” –Kelly Clarkson-

Updating twice in one day? Gasp! Loser! (Check Protected)

I put some canker-sore stuff on the inside of my lip & it basically turned my whole mouth into a big mess & I keep biting my numb lips now. Sick. I'm also breathing squiggly lines now, as the Google search-term "sore mouth" reports.

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  What’s with the crazy dreams lately? Last night I dreamt that a former OU friend of mine married her ex-boyfriend in a small, breakfast ceremony & I was really angry that no one told me. All day I’ve been thinking it really happened.

It’s pretty awesome that my insurance company keeps rejecting me because they haven’t processed my student status yet… so I can’t get any of my four prescriptions until God-knows-when. Thank you, American healthcare system.
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Marisa is conspiring to date my ex, Scotty Hoe, if things don't work out with her newfound secret admirer, whose name is Kevin. She's a Kevin magnet, which means I need to keep an eye on the current bf, too.

     GlossAndSauce: Yeah and youre both blonde with blue eyes
     GlossAndSauce: youll have aryan children
     goldielocks384: good. thats how it should be.
     goldielocks384: j/k
     GlossAndSauce: haha
     GlossAndSauce: okay hitler

In other news: Here is a photo of that one loony Brian kid & my nearly-naked, fully-crazy boyfriend. This is nearly pornographic, I think. Ummmmm.

In OTHER news, my Little just chose pumpkins over her Big. Slut-pony indeed. Also, the nights I'll be in Athens are Big/Little Revealing nights. I don't wanna be there for that shit.... seriously reconsidering this decision now.

Four years seems like forty. Can it really have been so recently? In four years I have had four separate boyfriends; I have attended and left another school; I have made & lost friends. I have changed.

But then again…. Can it really have been so long ago? In four years, my best friends are still the same. Four years ago, my senior year, does not seem like such an ungodly long amount of time.

I remember in the cafeteria in the morning, before it began, Kevin Folk said, “Today is going to be a bad day. I can tell.” And I remember that Nikki Sharp wore a black t-shirt with the NYC skyline across it, in the last few hours before the skyline changed forever.

I remember walking to 3^rd period with Marisa, wondering what was happening- we’d heard “the Pentagon was bombed” during the last two minutes of 2^nd period. I remember sitting in A Cappella crying, praying, trying to make out the details on a static-ridden TV. Watching in horror as the second plane hit, as the buildings fell…

And for all the clichés & the magnetic silver car ribbons that resulted, we should never forget what really happened on September 11^th. Never forget the magnitude of that day, or the death or the loss or the tragedy, or what it all meant for this country. Never forget what it felt like to be so patriotic for a time; to be so connected to our countrymen that we overlooked race and religion and political ideologies. To just be American, and proud, and strong.

Never forget September 11^th.  

“Drivin’ away from the wreck of the day & the light’s always red in the rearview.” –Anna Nalick-

Yesterday was horrible. Seriously, today is a blessing compared to the fury that was Friday, September 9^th. Annnnyways.

Took my darling Sylvia the Civic into the auto repair place, where I was warned that new brake pads would cost $150. Imagine my thrill when Car Guy Steve called me up to say that there was a rock stuck in my brakes--- and that he’d removed it at no charge. I paid him with a case of beer, which cost way less than new brakes. And no, I’m not actually joking. I bought him a six-pack of Bud.

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I got some fruit snacks outta the vending machine & when my change came out, it gave me more money than I’d even put in! The snacks cost 60 cents & it returned 75 to me, plus my snacks. I made a profit off the vending machiiiiiine.

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I ordered “Anchorman” off of Half.com and it arrived today…. It’s a burned copy, with computer-printed inserts & labels. I’m furious. Some little shit in Batavia, Ohio, thinks he’s pulling the wool over my eyes like I can’t spot a shoddy copy when I pay $8 for it?

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“Now I know I’m here to stay.” –Smoosh-

I wore my supercute new quilted black flats &today  they basically ruined my heels or the backs of my ankles or whatever body part that is. They were bleeding all over the place. Luckily, Dima was a Girl Scout in the day & she carries a supply of Band-Aids with her?

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Last night Marisa & I acted like total girls-on-the-rag by wearing sweatpants to Steak ‘n’ Shake & chowing our faces off, and then we went to CVS & bought econo-sized ‘female supplies’ & a giant bag of peanut butter M&M’s. Sorry if this is TMI for you but you have to understand the hilarity of us wearing sweatpants & being fat & buying girl products & chocolate at 1 a.m. from two hot male CVS cashiers.

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Tonight in Newswriting we have to do “man-on-the-streets,” where we interview, well, (wo)men on the streets about some as-yet-unknown topic. Problemo??? I can’t even navigate the damn streets!  Ameir says we’ll go together, which is good, because we all know I can get lost in a snap.

It’s finally, finally FINAL--- I’m going to Athens for Homecoming! Ohhhh, I couldn’t be any happier. Can’t wait to see my sisters. Any Circ Kids up for a rendezvous while I’m in town? A-Town, hollerrrrrr!

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“They say people in your life for seasons & anything that happens is for a reason.” –Kanye West-

Picked up the new Kanye CD & it basically kicks your ass.

I got stood up for lunch today & kind of wandered the Hub aimlessly. I saw Conor but he was with some friends & I didn’t want to be the lame “Oh, uhhh, do you wanna sit with us?” girl, so I never made eye contact.
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I work at the Nat allll weekend so I can’t even go to the Rib Burn-Off (for real this time). Kevin says he’s pretty sure it’s called the Rib Cook-Off, because “burn-off” sounds like they’re scorching the meat or something.

I want to listen to my mp3 player while I walk across campus and, believe me, I’ve tried… but I can’t get my headphones to fit in my ears properly. Yeah, I know I’m sweet & extra-intelligent. Seriously, I’ve tried two pairs & neither of them goes in my ears right. EFF.

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Wouldn’t it figure that Copeland, Spill Canvas & Daphne <3’s Derby are touring together and not coming anywhere near our dear A-K-Rowdy?!?! Times like this I wish I lived in Chi-Town or NYC or somewhere scene or some shit.

ain’t nothin’ promised to you.

look at my face, do i got a promise face?

you think i’d  promise you anything?

“I heard a voice in my mind- ‘I will try, I will try, I will try.’” –Sufjan Stevens-

Today was my last day at the FAC… ever. It was kinda sad in the “Awww, I’ve been here 5 years” sorta way but kind of NOT sad in the “Shiiiit, I’ve been here five years” sorta way. On to bigger & better, right?

OU starts classes tomorrow & I’m sure it will feel odd to know that everyone in Athens is back to normal and I am, well, not. I miss A-Town, especially when I receive drunken voicemails from J-Brunk & the Neffster, but I’m also trying my best to adapt to being a Flash & going to Kent.

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And the first step toward normalcy at Kent is PEOPLE! Lucky me has a lunch date with the formerly-mulleted Matt Sargent this Wednesday & I could not be any happier about actually talking to someone I know & like while on campus. Hooray for a not-so-lonely day.

Annnnnd Week Two begins with a crap-ton of homework that I didn’t focus on as well as I could have since I watched a Lifetime movie from 9-11 while making Geology flashcards. Off to a fabulously studious start, eh?

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“I am fairly agile- I can bend & not break.” –Dashboard-

I’m pretty much addicted to Ramen noodles made with parmesan cheese & walnuts. Ummm, call it gross if you want, but it’s way better than eating soggy noodles in that wretched-smelling water-soup.
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Last night Kevin & I went to the Rib Burnoff & wandered around for awhile. When I came home & my mom asked what we’d done, I told her & she gave me a funny look & said, “That wasn’t the Rib Burn-off. That was Rockin’ on the River.” And I kind of looked embarrassed & mumbled, “Oh… I guess that’s why there weren’t even any ribs.”

The head manager at the FAC pretty much ripped me a new one today. Annnd I sort of cried at work slash ran a quick work-related errand so as not to be upset in front of coworkers. AWESOME. I love feeling incompetent, especially during such an already-shitty week.

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Fill in the blanks: If your name is _____, the lyrics to the song _____ by _____ remind me of you.

·          Sean; “She Will Be Loved”; Maroon 5

·          Annie; “On The Way Down”; Ryan Cabrera

·          Adam, “If You Don’t, Don’t”; Jimmy Eat World

·          Megan, “Margot,” Brandtson

Does anyone want a visitor next weekend when the Nat pools are closed & I don’t have to work? I’d like to make a mini road-trip…
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(((This is a good one. A long one, but it’s worth it. I promise. Annnnd GO.)))

 Today I remembered something very important- it doesn’t really matter what everyone else thinks. I’m not sure how or why I let myself forget it.

Could I be any more loved? I really don’t think so. And I don’t think it matters, what I’ve lost or who I’ve lost, or where those people are now or what they think of me. The people who love me are incredible- my mom & my family & Christina & Annie & Tav & Marisa & Lisa & Kevin & Sean & Peebles & Michelle & Jess & Megan & Scott & my God, who even knows who else? That should be MORE than enough to keep me from ever wanting for anyone else who may have proven to be anything less than true.

I have wasted so much of my life missing my past. I’ve spent so much time being bitter & angry at people who could care less about my feelings- ex-friends & ex-boyfriends & various other people who never liked me in the first place. And for what? So that I could stay up late at night & cry & say nasty things to the people who have hurt me that will never come remotely close to hurting them?

And so what do I care if one of my old-skool, long-time best friends thinks I’m “weird & alternative” now? What do I care if my ex-boyfriend-slash-former-best-friend is in a Facebook group called “My Ex-Girlfriend is a Whore”? What do I care if the Clovers never think of me ever again or if the majority of Sigma Kappa forgets I ever existed?

And starting today, I don’t. I really, truly don’t. I am learning, today, not to care about things I have lost. If they come back to me in the end—well, that’s beautiful, isn’t it? But if they don’t… there’s so much beauty in my life that I don’t need anything as destructive as regret poisoning it.

“Be who you are & say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter & those who matter don’t mind.”

“If you ever believe this is what you need, it will spin around & shatter, throw you to the floor.” –Acceptance-

My Newswriting class was cancelled tonight because my professor had a stroke or a seizure or something of the sort. I hope she’s alright but I won’t pretend to be disappointed about coming home at 5:30 instead of 8:00. Pray for her, please.

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 My fabulous significant other came up to Kent today & we went to Chipotle where we gorged ourselves on chicken tacos & then headed over to Einstein’s closet & he tried on shirts that were too small & I ogled some vintage purses. He also said that I whine too much so I’m going to try pretty hard to cut back because really, who wants a whiner?

Okay, let’s be honest. I’m thrilled to have received my mp3 player but it’s taking forever & a friggin’ year to figure out. WTF? Why can’t I just copy & paste or something? I’m a big fan of the copy-and-paste method as opposed to this “press this button & then press that one & no, you can’t do that yet or at ALL” bullshit.
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