February 1, 2006
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“Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right,
Forget about the ones who don't,
& believe that everything happens for a reason.”
Something occurred to me today- why is it that we tend to be nicer to complete strangers than we are to the people whom we love the most? I noticed I’m the nicest person EVER to strangers. In fact, my new job is going fabulously because I generally have really good customer service skills… so why is it that strangers & acquaintances always think I’m wonderful & my own friends & family think I’m a pain in the ass (& that’s putting it mildly)?
Let me explain. I don’t advocate being truly mean to anyone, but if you’re going to be a bastard, shouldn’t it at least be to someone with whom you have nothing to lose? I mean, if I’m a little bit nasty to the guy at the grocery store, sure, it might hurt his feelings, but he’ll pardon me & write me off as some nutcase customer & inexorably carry on with his day.
But instead it’s the other way around. We treat the ones we love just slightly- and sometimes massively- worse than we treat those whom we don’t know. Why? Because they know us &, we hope, understand us, and we hope that, when push comes to shove, they’ll forgive us for taking our own personal angers out on them. Instead, we alienate those people whom we need the most; whom we love the most; whom we want to lose the very least.
I don’t know why this is such an epiphany- probably most of you are well-versed in the practice of being nice to your friends. That is, after all, part of the meaning of being friends. I, however, have been taking my friends for granted. While I don’t blame myself entirely (I think I get taken quite a bit, too), I don’t want this to continue.
You can’t take for granted the people whom you desperately need, and love, and want in your life forever. You wouldn’t smash your Ferrari with a hammer, would you? My friends are my Ferraris & I need to stop smashing them.
Look, don’t expect me to give up my sarcasm addiction, or to quit making fun of people when they ridiculous things. At the same time, though, I’ve learned my lesson- friendship is supposed to make you happy… not miserable. And if I’ve been so mean lately, it’s only because I’ve been unhappy with the statuses of these friendships. So here’s to appreciating the people you love the most- and treating them like you appreciate them.
I realized all of this today… & now it may be too late to truly put it all to good use. You know who you are & I love you. Regardless of whether or not you forgive me (I don’t think I necessarily deserve it… yet, at least), I promise to enact some new rules of action. Every step is a new lesson…
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Comments (8)
such a great point. i think we all could learn a lesson in friendship from this post.
love you.
weeeeellll, lets see here. im nice to strangers because i usually deal with them when it comes to work. i have alot to lose if i act bitchy to that stranger, like my job. but i do get your point. peole including myself are weird like that.
awww hell no bitch. there is no hope of forgiveness.
...wait, what am i saying? i wasn't mad in the first place.... hang in there... it takes some of us longer than others to realize the greatness [and fragility] of friendship.
i think i made up the word fragility... but whatever.
i love you.
okay, so maybe it is a word... but i think i pronounce it differently... or something.
actually, i just suck at words.
I'm nicer to strangers, too... but that's because strangers are my customers, who tip me, and my tips pay for college, so really I'm just kissing their asses to keep mine in school. Haha
You should go to Maine sometime. It's worth it (in the summer anyway). Although I just saw the lineup for Bonnaroo Fest which is killer, so I might have to make that my vacation this year (riiight, vacations never happen for me).
Too often we take people for granted. Such is life. <3
I completely understand where you're coming from because I do the same thing.
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