February 7, 2006
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“This Valentine’s you were supposed to still be mine.” -Dave Kozak & the Supporting Cast-
In honor of the upcoming Hallmark holiday, let’s revisit my Valentine’s Days passed, shall we?
Valentine’s Day 2001
Year: Junior in high school
Age: 16
Status: Happily single
Story: I don’t recall how I spent the actual day itself, but beforehand I made homemade Valentines with my friends that we still laugh about to this day. Prior to Annie’s “craftiness” due to working at JoAnn’s, she was, shall we say, not the most talented artist ever. I’d just broken up with Munday, much to everyone’s relief.
Valentine’s Day 2002
Year: Senior in high school
Age: 17
Status: Newly re-taken
Story: I had just broken up with Dave so that I could date Chris. He gave me a bag of random things for the holiday; all of the gifts had little notes on them as to what their significance was. Dave wrote “Second Thoughts & Paper Hearts” for me, but I didn’t find out until much later. Spend the day wondering if I’d made the right choice.
Valentine’s Day 2003
Year: Freshman in college
Age: 18
Status: Sort-of kind-of dating
Story: I’d just met “Shively Tom,” with whom I spent both the 13th & 14th. I liked him, even though he made me nervous because he was way cooler than I was. Dave, who I was still sort of with, sent me a heart-shaped box with a bracelet & a bunch of Sixlets candies , along with a poem adapted from Jonah Matranga’s “Allison.”
Valentine’s Day 2004
Year: Sophomore in college
Age: 19
Status: Very taken
Story: I was a lonely army girlfriend, & my boyfriend, Scott (the one for whom I ruined my relationship with Dave), had just come home from Guard duty in the
Valentine’s Day 2005
Year: Junior in college
Age: 20
Status: Taken again, by someone else
Story: This one’s infamous. I spent the day at Dave’s funeral, during which it rained & I spent all day crying. My then-boyfriend, Adam, came home with me even though he hardly knew Dave. I wore my Chucks to the service & spoke at the post-funeral luncheon about the time Dave & Joel & Stephanie & I went comet-gazing. Adam & I broke up soon afterwards.
TBA:
Valentine’s Day 2006
Year: Senior in college
Age: 21
Status: Mucho taken
Story: I’ll spend this coming weekend in Cleveland with Kevin, staying at the Holiday Inn & shopping at the 2-story Target. Sunday we’re going to RENT & Sigur Ros. The actual day of V-Day we probably won’t do much, but this weekend should make up for that. February 14th is a bad-memory day, anyway.
The truth is, I kind of hate this holiday. It’s so overrated. Two of my five past Valentine’s Day have involved death, most recently. Three of the five have significantly involved Dave, who was never my boyfriend on this holiday. Ironic, then, that this holiday will always be his, in my heart, no matter who I am with or where I go. You never forget a funeral that falls on a holiday, do you?
“do we have the strength to make it there?
would you think less of me if I said ‘yes’?”
Comments (16)
i’ve spent the past eighteen valentine’s days happily single, so i’m looking forward to a record-setting nineteenth, hahaha. (it’s not that i don’t date, it’s just never on valentine’s day.)
love you. can’t wait to see RENT three days apart from each other, wahhhh.
Wow, that’s quite a track… I’ve never had a valentine and this year won’t be any different. I admit it would be nice to have something to do, but I stopped really caring years ago.
Sorry this time of year is hard for you.
this year you should just look past valentine’s day, and focus all your attention and energy on my birthday.
also, i’m kind of looking forward to spending my first valentine’s day since 1996[ish] solo.
The last time I had a “real” Valentine was in 7th grade, I hate being obligated to buy shit for people so it has worked to my advantage…
Also, I think I now know far more about your dating history than I think is necessary…
On Valentines Day 2003 I got a call from my mom after I had returned home with my then boyfriend. She called me in tears telling me I had better get to the hospital ASAP if I wanted to say goodbye to my beloved grandma. 2 days later she died. So after that I don’t really like Valentines Day so much. Jason and I now just get each other cards, but we both agree that if you’re in love you don’t need the excuse of a cheesey ass holiday to tell each other so. Make EVERY day special. I’m sorry your past V-Day’s haven’t been that great. I hope you and Kevin have a wonderful weekend.
Hi! We don’t really know each other, I know you through Elliott West, and it’s through his xanga subscription to you that I have the honor of reading your posts. (I hope you don’t mind a secret reader…I just really love reading your posts, I relate to so many of them it’s scary!) =)
After reading this particular, very personal post, I just had to comment. My grandfather died a year ago February 10th, and was buried on Valentines Day…a very rainy, very sad day. So this year I have so many mixed emotions about celebrating Valentines Day…I want to enjoy it, but the day saddens me as well, and I hope to keep the memory of my grandfather honored.
I was so deeply affected by your post, and I’m so very sorry for the losses you’ve suffered as well. I truly hope we can both enjoy the romantic festivities to come. You’ll be in my thoughts.
Hey! I don’t mean to be a weirdo. What I mean is that I’ve been subscribed to your site for a little while now, but I hardly ever leave comments because I always get this pop-up when I come to your site that even my pop-up blocker can’t stop. And I’m all paranoid that it’s going to ruin my computer. But tonight, I decided to brave the pop-up and say hi. A two-story Target sounds like a splendid place to celebrate Valentine’s Day!!!
Being from Tallmadge I def. know what it is like to lose someone. Yes, the day of remembering is always upsetting but the best I think anyone can do is think of all the good things, that way when your sad youre still kind of smiling. They have their whole own day, well actually more than one, where tons of people are thinking about how much they love them, where everyone brings out the memories that are so often pushed behind… if only we did this for everyone we love… I am not sure what im trying to say. Maybe that in the sadness their can be a little happiness too.
Hope you have a great time in Cleveland.. im also seeing RENT! Way excited!
Hey doll. This is one of the only V-Days I’ve had a boyfriend! It will be neat.
Well…my one grandma died on Christmas, my other grandma died the following Valentine’s Day, and my aunt’s funeral was on the eve of the millenium. (And I guess both of my grandpa’s died on pseduo-holidays…like birthdays or something? Before I was born.)
So yeah…holidays can be rough. But on a positive note…at least you’ve spent Valentine’s Day with someone/honoring someone that you care about (I had originally typed that sentence as “with a boyfriend,” and then I remembered that you spent the first one with Annie, so…)
oh yes, indeed i did. i’m sooo proud of myself. or not.
know what valentine’s day really is? in the singles’ world we call it the Devil’s Asshole.
*xors
thanks for the silly comment…yea, most of the time the grammys suck, i mute most the performances….
my major is biology, lol love me some animals
I wrote you a letter… now I just have to send it…
This proves how shy I am. I saw you at the Nat both Monday and Tuesday and I didn’t come over and say hi. My sincerest apologies.