I was thinking about Zach, & how I can’t believe he’s gone. How his death makes me glad not to be going to Waterworks, because I can’t imagine being there without him. About how much spunk & energy he had, and what a tragedy it was to lose someone so very alive at such a young age.
I was thinking about Dave & how he caved in to the pressure of all of his emotions, some of the same emotions I’ve struggled with my entire life; how I refuse to cave, even when I want to.
I was thinking, about how I’m just lucky to be alive, no matter what’s going on, really.
I was thinking about what Jen said, about how friends aren’t supposed to abandon you, & how if they do, then they probably weren't friends you wanted anyway. Maybe things like this are an eye-opener not only into myself but into the people I surround myself with, too.
I was thinking about what Heather said, about how maybe this happened over Spring Break so that I would have to think about it in my spare time; how maybe this was G-d’s way of telling me to shut up & listen, to reflect & get everything figured out.
I was thinking about how I am both cursed & blessed with an undying optimism that just keeps going & going, no matter what; with a sense of humor that can get me through anything, because as long as I can make one person laugh, I can make myself laugh, too.
And I was thinking about how I am finally learning to love myself.
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