July 8, 2006
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“I will never live like you but you will probably die like me: oh, lovelessly, an ending full of G-d & G-d makes plenty.” -Voxtrot- (I adore this song…)
I’m painfully cuddle-deprived. I don’t want to date anyone or be interested in anyone or fool around with anyone; I just want someone’s hand to hold & maybe a little flirty chemistry & perhaps a platonic nap. I’ve just really gotten antsy for some human physicality, but I’m uncomfortable flirting with any of the guys here to that extent. I’m bordering desperate for some sort of physical warmth to ease my emotional frostiness.
To you & you & you & (all of) you:
I’ve done enough dumb shit to know by now that you shouldn’t do things you’re going to be ashamed of later admitting to your friends, because things always get out, get told, get warped. Don’t trust anyone, don’t trust yourself, & certainly don’t trust your instincts. Don’t fuel fires with fighting words, & don’t assume that just because you’re doing something scandalous, everyone is talking about your sex life. You aren’t as godly as you like to imagine.
Stop talking to me about petty shit when you know I have other things, more important things, more pressing things, going on in my life. Don’t compare our lives when what we have, individually, is incomparable, on entirely different levels, with supremely different cores & concepts. We are not the same.
You’re so shallow, you can’t even recognize that you are. You are a rebel with no cause & no desire to find one. You differentiate your dissimilarities, proclaiming yourself “individual,” but you are closer to them than you realize. You’re only interested in the people who don’t want you, don’t need you, can certainly have you but won’t sink that low because they are just as shallow as you are, & you do not meet their standards of quality. “Recognize what you cannot achieve & retreat,” I want to tell you, but I never will, because you could tell me the same thing.
Despite the advice I give you & the stories I tell you & the secrets I share with you, you don’t know me. I, likewise, don’t pretend to understand you, although I am almost positive that I have a better understanding of your inner workings than you ever could of mine, because I am perceptive when you don’t have the time to be, & I am stronger than you can conceive of.
Comments (4)
Katy,
First off, let me say that I do completely respect your opinion as well as the opinion of others like the singers from the Dixie Chicks, despite what my entry may have given off.
There is no way in this world that I believe that stars should not have a say in politics or form any kind of opinion for the issues our country is battling and has been battling for years. Also, I do NOT think she should make any public apology for what she has said, for as we both know, it was her opinion.
I don't really know how to further articulate what I'm trying to say, except that it's a feeling that I get when people find it hard to be respectful and do things tastefully. It sounds so sugarcoated to attempt to do things in such a way, but I believe that things should be handled much more carefully. That's not to say that we should quiet ourselves or lie about our beliefs...because what good are beliefs, then? I only wish to see more positive enforcements from these people. If a conservative was doing the same thing, it would make me equally angry [which more or less answered Kevin's question].
I don't expect your opinion to change but I hope that this has cleared at least some things up for you.
hey gurl, i total know what you mean about wanting someone to cuddle and what not. i bet its hard for you to be so far away from your boy. just a few more months or weeks, right?? i got accepted into college, i leave Aug 12. hope you're having a great time up in DC!!
A lot of what you wrote is so true. I totally support it and I'm glad someone finally said it.
I hear ya hun =)
"Oh, instincts are misleading
You shouldn't think what you're feeling
They don't tell you what you know you should want"
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