“I am not a force to be reckoned with & you don’t have a clue what you’re messing with. You can’t see to the best of me cuz it’s more than your heart can take.” –Anna Nalick-

Whoa. I just realized that the above song is the theme song of my life, literally. It’s perfect.

 

A role ripped in my right contact today during English class. By “a hole,” I mean: the contact looked like a doughnut, with a chunk missing where my pupil goes. How does that happen?

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I purchased some Fruity Cheerios, mainly because I was intrigued & not so much because I thought they’d taste good (which they don’t, really). The funny thing is this: they are miniature Froot Loops. I don’t know why, but I think this is fascinating & hilarious.

 

Today I signed up to be a notetaker in my English class, I think for a deaf student. I mainly signed up to do it because A) I really like taking notes, & B) I get paid $50 to do it. And, I mean, I want to help the deaf, of course…

((()))

 

I have a gabillion stories in the paper this week, but today I also found out that I have an “understudy” of sorts, a sophomore who covers what I can’t & such. He seems nice. I’m glad he exists.

 

It would be great if someone could explain to me why my laptop won’t allow me to write emails in Flashmail. It’d be even better if someone could fix the problem for me. Any takers?

 

Also: pics of my new place! They’re only of my bedroom, & they’re grainy ‘cause they’re form my phone, but here they are.

Entrance: thrilling, right?

 

My own little corner in my own little room… (bed & stars!)

Lookin’ messy.Ugh! Bookshelf & closet…

Big window (balcony outside!) & TV stand corner

Last wall… I need a dresser & a desk – AND POSTERS!

Conversational snippets from a Sunday night chat with one miss Heather Murray:

 

HDM009: ok you may get off easy

HDM009: be sweden

 

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GlossAndSauce: he doesnt get the sarcasm thing much

HDM009: oh he’s done then
HDM009: that’s too bad, oh well

 

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HDM009: well i’m not experienced in dating anyone with a kid, and honestly, the only person i know of who you could talk to about it, you may not want to...

GlossAndSauce: ryan?

HDM009: wait, what? ryan’s got a kid?

 

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GlossAndSauce: also, did i mention that he’s 6’8″ tall?!?!

GlossAndSauce: i come up to… his shoulder. almost.

HDM009: WHA?

GlossAndSauce: haha right.

GlossAndSauce: he plays basketball in france.

HDM009: shut up

GlossAndSauce: um he’s kind of huge

HDM009:  his name is george glass and you are so making him up

GlossAndSauce: hahahahahahahaha
GlossAndSauce: oh god a million points for that
HDM009: hahaha
HDM009: i freakin LOVE that girl as jan brady
HDM009: dammit now i have sunshine day stuck in my head, thank you

I get up.
I walk.
I fall down.
Meanwhile…
I keep dancing.

-Hillel

“She did a bad, bad thing…” –Chris Isaak-

 

Sometimes you do things that you can’t take back & you feel like a piece of shit but there’s nothing else you can do. I did something awful & I may be losing my job(s) & people’s respect for me, but I mean… if I do, I do, & I’ll move on & figure things out. I made a really awful mistake, but I can’t change it.

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I signed the lease on a townhome in Whitehall East today. I’m living with a friend from work & three other girls whom I’ve never met. The place is cute & cozy, in a good spot near campus, & it’s not horribly expensive. I’m so grateful to the people who are making it possible for me to move out. I can’t wait!

 

I’m glad summer’s coming to an end because summer has never really been my thing, anyway. Too much boredom, too little structure. I start Stater training tomorrow & it will be great to be with Elise & Jackie & Rachel, even if it’s for ridiculously long, predictably boring orientation sessions.

((()))

 

 

I’ve been assigned a story on President Lefton’s experiences with Hurricane Katrina while he lived in New Orleans & even though every story assignment terrifies me, I’m kind of excited about it. It’s always a relief to have something to throw yourself into.

 

Everything is sort of hazy right now.  Let’s be honest, I’ve spent most of today feeling like the world’s worst person. I’m going to go take a nap & hope I feel better when I wake up. Here’s hoping…

……

 

 

 

i feel like im watching a car crash

this is how it ends

“Pay attention to me; I don’t talk for my health.” –Nelly Furtado-

 

Wow, nothing like scandal & upheaval to make me glad I’m now a Flash rather than a Bobcat. Way to frickin’ go, Ohio University.

 

I slept through a doctor’s appointment today. It took me 2 weeks to schedule that damn appointment, because no one in the doctor’s office ever answers their damn phones, & now I have to try all over again.

((()))

 

I really, really hate the word “turd.” I mean, when people use that word, I just cringe & want to smack them. This is sort of a new revelation, but now that I’ve discovered it, I’m absolutely wallowing in hate for the word.

 

A gigantor spider has claimed a home the entire space at the foot of the stairs on my back porch. His massive web makes it nearly impossible to get down the steps, but I’m too chicken to destroy the web because the spider’s always chillin’ in the middle! GROSS.

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I move into my townhome sometime within the next two weeks. It’ll probably be a gradual process, since my mom & I have totally different schedules. When everything seems to be moved in, I’ll just start living there, whenever that may be. I’m excited. And NERVOUS.

 

PS, maybe I’m just a vicious person, but have you ever just wanted to tell someone to shut the hell up because no one really gives a damn about their life? I mean, really, I know you think you’re so happy & wonderful & in love, but I’m dying to tell you the truth: I think you’re a piece of shit.

<<<>>>

“I’m breaking ground for a new me, getting up from all these past catastrophes.” –Brandtson-

 

 If you ever come back, I’ll still be here, but you might be surprised. You might not recognize me anymore.

 

You have to hit the bottom before you can rise up, & you have to come to an ending before you can start a new beginning. And on & on & on… they’re cliches for a reason, you know.

 

 Yes, I’m still here, but I’ve learned so much. Thank you. I couldn’t have done this with you.

“When you gonna realize that you don’t even have to try any longer? Do what you want to.” –Corinne Bailey Rae-

 

Current top annoyances:

·   Magazine subscriptions running out

·   Obnoxiously sticky-sweet couples

·   Construction at the Stow-Kent Target

·   Buying fabric softener instead of detergent

·   My whole body hurting for no real reason

·   No one being able to go to a movie with me

·   Class scheduling conflicts

·   Britney Spears on the cover of People

·   Not going to Youngstown to visit Jason

·   Recalling “friends” who turned out to be major disappointments

<<<>>>

 

There are more, of course, & some are more annoying than others, but this is today’s list. Feel free to add your own.

 

But perhaps I should be positive, as well, yes? Here’s today’s list of top favorites:

·         Making a damn good black bean & corn soup

·         Quality bonding time with my mama

·         100-calorite packs of cheddar Sun Chips

·         Buying a pretty new comforter

·         My hair looking decently cute for once

·         Making Kevin happy via a meatloaf delivery

·         Gloomy, rainy weather (love it)

·         New episode of The 4400 tonight

·         Hopefully hanging out with Sam tonight

·         Being one step closer to my big surprise

  <<<>>>

 

Add onto both lists, okay? Give me something to read. Unless I don’t like you, in which case, stop reading my Xanga. Good plans. Happy Sunday!

“Oh, this is the start of something good. Don’t you agree?” –Gavin DeGraw-

 

Something massive this way comes… I don’t want to spoil the surprise for anyone (or spread the word & have my plans backfire!), so I’m keeping it to myself for now, but let me just say this: it’s something I’ve wanted for a long time now. Something BIG is happening for me! It’ll be finalized by the end of the week. And I know you’re absolutely dyyyying to know, but hold yer horses.

 

Also: Feel free to guess, which makes big news just that  much more exciting. Annnnd GO!

 

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“Anywhere you go you know the ugliness will follow you still.” –Voxtrot-

 

I really hate when people kind of compliment you but it’s disguised as a really terrible insult that makes you feel like a pile o’ crap.

 

This little chunk of conversation caused an actual laugh-lout-loud moment, not just a conversational “LOL.”

joooonnyD: i catched a goose with my bare hands down in mytle beach

joooonnyD: ok i lied

joooonnyD: but i was really close to catching it

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There are a pair of socks lying on my computer desk that say “ my” followed by a picture of two cartoon dogs. My questions are as follows: A) Why does my mom own these horrendous socks, & B) why are they notat least  in her sock drawer?

 

I have nothing of quality to say tonight other than the fact that I wish Ben Poole would quit ragging on me for my weird hairline & that I’m unhealthily pumped for tomorrow night’s festivities.

((()))

 

PS, the cord for my camera is lost, rendering me unable to share any of my delightful photos with you. SHOOT.

 

PPS, this lovely message was the result of one of my Google image searches:

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“You’re losin’ all yours highs & lows. Ain’t it funny how the feelin’ goes away?” –The Eagles-

 

Favorites: When my mom “confronts” me about things early in the a.m. while I’m fast asleep. Example: When she came storming into my room all fired up about today’s Stater column where I called my 5^th year of college “the $5,000 mistake.”

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Since I have no life, I spend my time A.) working, B.) sleeping, or C.) watching reality TV & making collage-style artsy cards to send to my long-distance loves. If you think I might be devoted to you enough to make you something, check your mailbox soooonish.

 

All of my magazines subscriptions ran out because I couldn’t afford to continue them, which means I’m waste $$$ buying them at the newsstands. This is truly tragic.

((()))

 

“(Elise) & I have a Chipotle date tomorrow afternoon, & I am so excited. I have missed Chipotle, & more importantly, I have missed (Elise). =)”

 

Also: It has come to my attention that some people think I am a little bit depressed. Let me assure, you friends: my depression has long since scurried along its merry little way. I might be a complainer, or an analyzer, but I’m certainly not a downer anymore.

 

That is all.