“All I need’s a few more dollars & I’m outta here to stay.” –Newsies-

 

I am at max annoyance capacity. I pray to God that I get this summer internship, simply because it would mean six weeks of not being at home. And by home, I don’t mean ‘Cuyahoga Falls’- I mean this house.

 

My mom is probably reading this. Oh, well. Hi, Mom.

 

I’m sick of being judged for everything I ever say or do. I’m sick of not being able to choose my own TV channels & crack my knuckles when I want & chew my pens & have a messy bedroom. I’m sick of being criticized for what I eat, wear, say & think. I’m sick of “Can I make a comment?” & being told how & when to do everything. I’m sick of feeling guilty if I don’t want chicken, or meatballs, or if I’m not home for Gilmore Girls. I want to write my resume myself & make myself notes to call the doctor. I’m sick of well-intended reminders & well-researched computer print-outs on every aspect of my life.

 

I am 21 goddamn years old. I pay for my own food & clothes & gas & whatever else I can afford, working less than 10 hours a week and taking 18 hours of classes. I get good grades & I work damn hard to keep my life on track, especially after a miserable, life-altering year. I AM SICK OF BEING TREATED LIKE A MIDDLE SCHOOLER. I love being near her… but not always with her.

 

Ever seen Now & Then? Samantha was right- you can never go home again.

 

To top it all off, I got hardcore rear-ended today on Summit Street & cracked my entire back bumper. When it rains it fucking pours.

“Let’s take our time, it won’t change overnight.” –Athlete-

 

Kevin & I made peanut butter cookies to mail to Sean & Kara but today my mom ate half of them.

 

My favorite quote of the day was, “I wanted to just… go for the gold!” and then later, the euphemistic, “I don’t usually go for the gold with pickles.” Thanks, bud.

((()))

 

End-of-the-semester crunch-time. I have an article to finish, some applications to fill out, three exams to study for, and four papers to rewrite. Am I awesome or am I awesome?

 

Brian’s home from Seattle. Good. When Sean comes home, we’ll be complete. I love my screaming retards.

<<<>>>

 

I work a 14 hour shift this Saturday. The Lovedrug/Denison concert better be enough to tide me over with happiness all damn day!

 

PS, I hate when I ask SmarterChild for my horoscope & it replies [service too busy]. Ummm, hellooo?! DAMN it, you robot. Learn to multi-task!

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“I am me & I won’t change for anyone like you.” –Ashlee Simpson-

 

Everybody’s doin’ it (a.k.a. Megs & Brunk)… so here goes MY ego.

 

1.        I could watch Law & Order: SVU all day long.

2.        I can only wear rings on my ring fingers.

3.        I am just like my mom.. but a lot like my dad.

4.        My first car was a Dodge Colt & I miss it.

5.        I've broken my tailbone two times.

6.       I'm afraid of spiders & deer & Diaper Decks.

7.        I hate George Bush & dislike Republicanism.

8.        I buy almost all of my jewelry 10-for$5 at Claire's.

9.       I'm absolutely addicted to Target.

10.     I used to be blonde & sadly became brunette.

((()))

11.    I grew up with cats but now I'm allergic.

12.    My best friends from home are still my best.

13.    My fave food is Ramen with parmesan & walnuts.

14.     I have really bad nightmares a lot.

15.     In ten years, I've dreamt of my dad only once.

16.     In a year, I'm dreamt of Dave a dozen times.

17.     I have been in love- yes, love- four times.

18.     I burn the roof of my mouth on a regular basis.

19.     I'm obsessed with tweezing my eyebrows.

20.     My hands get really, really dry in the winter.

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21.     "Catcher In the Rye" is my favorite book.

22.     I have a fear of becoming a crazy-person.

23.     I worry that I'll never have a stable career.

24.     My first son will be named Jonah David.

25.     My fave restaurant is Damon's for the rolls.

26.     I love falling asleep to the sound of rain.

27.     I always fall asleep laying on my left side.

28.     I used to pretend my teddy bear was my bro.

29.     I'm egotistical- I think I'm pretty, smart & funny.

30.     I've gained 30 lbs. since I left high school.

<<<>>>

31.     I think people think I'm way less cool than they do.

32.     I love costumes, for socials & Halloween.

33.     I'm a Sig Kap, but sorority life isn't my style.

34.     I have a very hard time maintaining relationships.

35.     My dream vacation would be to visit Greece.

36.     My next tattoo will be "persevere" in Hebrew.

37.     I think mohawks are incredibly sexy.

38.     When I get poor, I compulsively sell on eBay.

39.     Money always burns a hole in my pocket.

40.     I have held 8 jobs in my life & never been fired.

[[[]]]

41.     I don't have one favorite song, & couldn't choose.

42.     But my favorite band is prob. Jimmy Eat World.

43.     I mistreat my music by losing CDs regularly.

44.     I update my Xanga almost every single day.

45.     I'm surprised when people remember me.

46.     I love Christmas season but hate Christmas Day.

47.     I can think of 2 dozen people I'd do anything for.

48.     My favorite beverages are OJ & Miller Lite.

49.     I don't like wearing pants that aren't jeans.

50.     I crack my knuckles & my neck compulsively.

“I can’t control (control your temper) my destiny.” –RENT-

 

We’re the most dramatic drunks I’ve ever met. And I think last night set a record number of pukers for one outing. I’m an awesome friend & bought Sean his first shot of the night- straight 151.

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My uncle fixed my sunroof so that it won’t barrage me with floodwaters every time it rains or snow. And then we went to Applebee’s, where I got a real meal instead of just a half-priced appetizer.

 

This Friday is Denison Witmer & Lovedrug at the Lime Spider, in honor of what would’ve been Dave’s 21^st birthday. If you want to come, please let me know. It’s going to be a great show, & hopefully sort of a celebratory get-together, rather than a depression-fest.

(((/))) 

 

I was just thinking… about how amazing my life is. And how, for once, I am just so happy with everything. It’s a good feeling.

 

Countdown!

§    4 days: Hillel Chanukah party!

§    5 days: Denison & Lovedrug show!

§    11 days: Gwen Stefani concert!

§    12 days: Last day of classes!

§    18 days: Last final of the semester!

§    20 days: Kevin’s 22^nd Birthday!

§    21 days: Leaving for my trip to VEGAS!!!

 

“We’re still so young, & desperate for attention.” –Panic! at the Disco-

 

Guess my Protected Post made people nervous or something. All of one person, ahemKevinPeeblesahem, commented on it. Ha.

 

My eyes decided to stage a coup & throw my contact lenses out of power. I’ve pretty much felt like bleeding from the corneas for like 2 weeks now… & I have to wear my glasses, which have an old prescription in them, so they A) give me migraines, & B) make me feel perma-drunk.

((()))

 

This Thanksgiving weekend was either stupendously successful or horribly catastrophic, depending on how you look at it. I got in a discussion (read: argument) with my aunt about her bigotry, which led to family tension… but I also got some sweet gifts (we exchange presents at Thanksgiving).

 

My aunt hooked me up with a Vera Bradley bag for Chanukah. I feel bad because I used to rip on the sorority girls who carried these bags, comparing their pattern to diaper bags. But they’re really expensive, & my aunt thought I’d like one, & in all honesty, she did pick a pretty one… I’m such a hypocrite!

<<<>>>

 

Writing my Machon Kaplan essay. It sounds like crap. I sound like crap. UGHHH. I want this internship soooo bad.

 

HAPPY 21^ST BIRTHDAY, SEAN!

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“This is the soundtrack for our movie- will you tell me when we get to the best part?” –Mae-

 

Protected Post up if you care.

 

Today I’m thankful for:

o        My mom, because I love her more than anything

o        My friends from home, because they’re my soulmates

o        My friends from OU, because they taught me so much

o        My boyfriend, because he’s wonderful in every way

o        My family, because they help me find myself

o        My dog, because she’s relentlessly happy

<<<>>>

 

Also:

o        Good music, my car Sylvia, hoodies & jeans, my mp3 player, my new internship, Kent’s JMC, Applebee’s half-priced appetizers, CF & the Riverfront, my guitar, my Target credit card, the thrift store, the guy who rakes our leaves, McGriddles, www.facebook.com, my cozy bed, eyeliner, lightning bugs… and sooooo much more.

 

Also, I saw Rent at midnight last night in Canton. It was amazing. A-MA-ZING. I feel like I could see it a thousand more times & still only love it more. Also, Mush from Newsies had a solo & I freaked the eff OUT.

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I don’t like Thanksgiving food. I usually pick at rolls & cranberry salad & then eat yogurt & cereal later on when no one’s looking. Blechhhhh. Am I the only anti-turkey girl around???

 

Happy Thanksgiving, anyway, everyone!

((()))

 

“When it passes, you will breathe again.” –Trey Anastasio-

 

I’m irked by people who think that you can’t drink & still be a religious person- people who think their “moral values” are the be-all & end-all of religious authority. If God doesn’t like the way I’m living, let Him tell me- not you. And don’t tell me you’re praying for me (to stop drinking, or something)- that only makes me madder.

((()))

 

  GlossAndSauce: Whats up?

goldielocks384: not a thing… you?

GlossAndSauce: Finishing up my article

goldielocks384: well that's better than a stab-wound to the face

goldielocks384: so i'd say things are going well for ya

 

<<<>>>

 

I got a B on my Econ exam. Hallelujah!!! I actually got a 22/36 but it was curved so high that what would’ve been a 61% was actually a B. Which means I’m not failing, which means I won’t get booted from J-School.

 

Also, I GOT THE HILLEL INTERNSHIP! I’m so excited to meet some other Jews, & to make some friends at Kent, & to get some portfolio-building work done. It sounds amazing. I really feel like this is a step in the right direction. Lately I’ve been feeling like a big loser, like I’m going nowhere- this is a big relief.

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 Summit County just passed a smoking ban! I'm so pumped- smoke-free bars?!?! Hellllls yes.

“Now I can’t breathe- no, I can’t sleep. I’m barely hangin’ on.” –Kelly Clarkson-

 

Know what's the most depressing thing ever? When you send your grandma an email about an internship you're applying for (see previous post!) & she writes back with "don't get your hopes up- the competition sounds fierce." Sweet ego boost, Grandma.

In that case, it’s always good to have friends like these:

SparkLR2002: Listen, Kate...if you want me to beat up your grandma...all you have to do is ask.

(Okay, juuuust joking, but STILL. Sheesh.)

<<<>>>

 

On the upside, I have another week-from-hell coming up. Oh, wait--- that’s not an upside? Count me in for: my data research project tomorrow & presentation Tuesday; the final draft of my Newswriting package; & an interview for an on-campus internship with Hillel.

 

And at the end of this glorious week comes Thanksgiving with my family in the boondocks of Southern Ohio. Color me ungrateful, but I can’t say I’m thrilled… I am, however, thrilled about this hilarious photo.

((()))

 

Seriously, is it winter yet? Screw snow, I’ll take it- I just want a break.

 

seanrocksBG: hang on, brb

     seanrocksBG: honestly, i'm going to go poop

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 UPDATE: I GOT AN INTERNSHIP WITH HILLEL!!!!

“Standing strong, flames dancing, like a lion roaring… rising out of nothing.” –Matisyahu-

 

I’m more excited right now than I’ve been in a long time. My Rabbi just sent me an email about a summer internship program with the Religious Action Center in Washington, D.C. It sounds absolutely amazing. Basically you spend a month & a half living in apartments at George Washington University, working with other Jewish students & interning at a political action agency that suits your political & religious interests. It’s expensive- upwards of $2,000- & I’d need to find a job for the remainder of the summer… but this sounds so utterly amazing that I can’t possibly let it get away from me.

 

With any luck at all, I’ll be in D.C. for the summer. Please pray for me. This program is calling out to me- it feels right. I feel like this is what I’m supposed to do this summer. I’m so exhilarated that I’m shaking… please pray for me…

“Don’t stop thinkin’ about tomorrow. Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here.”

 

Time to crack down, boys & girls. The end of the semester awaits me like the light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. This is the final push.

 

Today I came to the conclusion that if I was blind, I’d never want to live in Northeast Ohio because A) snow’s only redeeming quality is that it looks pretty (keyword: looks), & B) A seeing-eye dog can’t stop you from slipping on large patches of ice that you don’t even see coming.

<<<>>>

 

I am the proud new owner of a houndstooth skirt. I’m in love with it. It’s seriously beautiful.

 

How could I have made such an egregious error as to overlook the fact that HARRY POTTER & THE GOBLET OF FIRE OPENS TOMORROW?!?! Oh man, I want to go so bad. Will anyone come with me? Pretty please?

((()))

 

Econ exam tomorrow. Are you praying for me?

 

You should use: Tutti Dolci Moisturizing Soufflé lotion in Angel Food Cake

You should hear: Anything by Daniel Powter, the guy who sings “Bad Day”

You should eat: A Choxie Toffee Bar from Target, even if they’re awful for you

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