September 23, 2006

• “Your perfect verse is just a lie that you tell yourself to help you get by.” –Death Cab for Cutie-

   

  This is me sitting around being a big, mopey mess.

   

  I was sick Thursday/Fridayish, & now I’m fine, but I’ve  spent all this time lately thinking about where my life is going & when I turned into the most boring individual on the planet.

   

  I don’t do a damn thing. I don’t have real friends. Guys don’t like me anymore. Sometimes I don’t even like me anymore.

   

  My mom says I’m too negative. I never thought I was a negative person, but I suppose, perhaps, that I am. I’ve become a cynic. I don’t like most of the people I know, & most  of them are indifferent to me. I feel like my life is crashing into heaping piles of nothingness, like maybe I’m never going to make it anywhere & I’ve been fooling myself all along in thinking otherwise.

   

  I miss laughing & loving & most of all, I miss living.

  • 10:15 pm
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