Month: April 2005

  • “Tonight let’s celebrate it- love it or hate it, it’s ours.” –Gratitude-


     


    I do NOT love being the Nat’s birthday bitch.


     


    TeenVogue says that wearing flip-flops with jeans is a faux pas this summer. Also, studded belts wih jeans. Also, A-Line tank tops with jeans. Soooo, my whole wardrobe is OUT unless I wear khakis.


    <<<>>>


     


    Party tonight at my house but I get the sinking suspicion that no one is coming except, like, Annie.


     


    When I was 13, my cousin Eric did not attend my bat mitzvah. He swore he’d take me out to dinner to repay me, but it’s been nearly 8 years & I’m without dinner from him… but tonight’s the big night! He has a real job now, too, so it better be somethin’ damn good.


     


    PS, I generally dislike Maroon 5.


    ((())) 


     


    I got the funniest succession of phone calls ever yesterday from this boy, who honestly thought I could give him directions through Akron… also, who stood me up last night because he triple-booked his night & then left me a sappy, apologetic voicemail to beg for forgiveness. Jerkface.


     


    I kid you not when I keep saying that for the first time in my life, I want summer to start so that I can be in school.


    //////

  • “Incomplete, just a texture of how life really is and it seems to feel so real.” –Action Action-


     


    There’s a very personal protected post up, for anyone who’s interested & allowed.


     


    I went to Rockne’s with Kubus last night & it was a freakin’ ball. That kid is so fun… if you put aside the fact that I am a messy, embarrassing eater, it was a really good time.


    <<<>>>


     


    My mom is being a bad Jew & broke the Passover bread-rules… and now she’s rubbing it in my face by eating pitas & asking me to go to Boston Market with her. Alas, I’m holding my ground- matzah pizza for me…


     


    Remind me again why I spent so much money to get my hair done? It’s already shaggy again & the tiger stripes have faded (okay, that’s actually a relief) & now I look like a bum again. WTF? I’m too poor to have short hair.


    ((()))


     


    (I’m) havin’ a party, everybody’s singin’, dancin’ to the music on the radio-ohhhhhhh. See you Saturday, bitchezzzz.


     


    The new Gratitude CD, which I received in the mail today via half.com, is fantasmic, I swear. But would you expect anything less from the amazing & talented Jonah? Right, I didn’t think so. Orgasm, orgasm, lovelovelove.


    //////

  • “No one can find the rewind button, girl.” –Anna Nalik-


     


    The truth is that I could only afford one CD but the reality is that I bought three. I’m so freakin' ecstatic. Three CDs in one outing? Three CDs in one month? Quite the rarity indeed.


    (((//)))


     


    My Kent schedule is complete for both Summer and Fall. I’m pumped, minus the fact that my Intersession science class is A) a science class and B) four hours long.


     


    It’s been decided. My 21st birthday party is going to be an 80’s bash. The exact title of it is Katy’s Eighties Bonanza. Or maybe Extravaganza. I guess I haven’t decided yet, but everyone should show up in fabrics like stonewashed denim, Spandex, mesh, flannel, etcetera. Actually, nix the flannel, since I’m an August baby… but whatever, it’s going to be… well, a bash-bonanaza-extravaganza like no other. Promise. Who doesn’t love 20-somethings dressed up as the ghosts of a decade passed?


    <<<>>>


     


    Speaking of parties… my mom is going to the Natsy 'Nati on Saturday so that probably means that I want to drink. Who’s in? (Hey, Mom, are you reading this???)


     


    I want: some fries from On Tap. Also, I want to be skinny, but I guess that conflicts with my first want. I want a guitar & to learn to play it; the daffodils in my garden to be un-dead; an 8th Season of Buffy so I don’t have to be done with it soon; the official opening of wwFAC; a real job at the Nat in the fall, which will never happen; a subscription to Cosmopolitan; somewhere far away to drive to so that I have time to listen to all three of my new CDs while feeling infinite like in Perks of Being a Wallflower, except alone.


    //////

  • “When life is a loop, you’re in a room without a door.” –The Notwist-


     


    Sean & I spent half of a conversation comparing my love life to kitchen appliances. In the end we decided that I can’t be a blender, because there are innuendoes to that, like, “I’ll tear you up, baby,” or something, and I can’t be a toaster because… well, I forget why, so in the end I am a waffle iron, even though waffle irons have crevices & ‘crevice’ is a fairly dirty word.


     


    This just in: Black licorice tastes like “Satan’s anus hole on a stick.” Description courtesy of Joseph.


    ((( = )))


     


    I saw a dead rabbit in the street the other day & it occurred to me that you don’t see too many dead rabbits. Because, I mean, they run fast & stuff, so they probably don’t get hit too much. I wonder if the rabbit I saw had a limp or was, like, the slow kid.


     


       Marisa: If penises were made out of cookie dough, I’d be a huge whore.


    Joey: If penises were made out of cookie dough, I’d consider the whole homosexuality lifestyle.


    Marisa: Except then you’d have cookie dough in your ass.


    Me: Ew. I’d just be a head slut.


    Joey: Yeah, I’d just be a blowjob whore.


    <<</>>>


     


    I was going to go to OU this weekend but now I am not. I asked someone to date party & I got shot down like BAM… and why go to date party without a date? Similarly, why go to OU on date party weekend if I’m not attending date party?


     


     


    you wanna ball with the kid?


    watch y’step


    you might fall


     


     

  • TS, are you reading this?


     


    There are a very few select people who I am sure like me for who I really am. I mean, throughout my whole life there have only been a few of these people.


     


    Don’t get me wrong- I know people like me. But there aren’t very many people who know me, the real me, very well, and still like me. Most of the people who know me that well go away- most of those people find that I’m not the person they expected me to be, or wanted me to be, and they change their minds & haul out.


     


    There are very few people who make me proud to be the person I am- people who don’t want to change me or judge me. People who just want to be with me. People who know everything I am & love me for it all the same- maybe even love me because of it.  


     


    Most of these people, oddly enough, are not my closest friends. Most of these people are acquaintances or friends-in-passing or people I have not had a chance to hang out with more.


     


    These are the people who make me unashamed to be me… people who make me feel like I am actually someone worth being. These people don’t even know it, probably, but they’re my favorite people in the world, ever.


     


    I hung out with one of these people last night… and I talked to another on the phone later.


     


    And when one of these people lets you down, it hurts like a fucking bitch.


     


    PS- I know you’ve gotta look out for yourself first & foremost… I’m just bummed, is all. I miss you & I love you. Not in the skanky way. I just love you.

  • “The only thing constant was the constant reminder she’d never change.” –Hot Hot Heat-


     


    Today I took a grammar/spelling/punctuation test that I have to pass in order to get into Kent’s Joursnalism school. I finished it in half an hour & was the first of ten to be done with it... the test proctor looked stunned & was like, “Are you sure you’re done?” and while I had been sure before she asked me, I proceeded to freak out & feel like Speedy Gonzales on crack.


    <<<>>>


     


    Last night I bowled an entire game left-handed & I got four strikes & two spares. My final score was 138, which is the highest score I have ever gotten in my life & was also the highest score of the night. I’ve never broken 100 before, which was on my list of Things To Do Before I Die. I officially adore my formerly-useless left hand.


     


    There’s over $200 in my bank account, which hasn’t happened since January. That’s so money. Literally. Luckily, I spent $25 on clothes at Target today. What?


    ((()))


        *This fake bill has Prez G-Dubs on it. Which means... I'd rather be broke.


     


    Who’d ever have dreamt that the most non-sorority sorority girl on all of OU”s campus would come home only to find that she misses her sisters more than anything, ever? I rarely wore my letters at school- now that I’m home, I wish I had worn them every damn day. I want everyone at Kent to know that they’re missing out on the most kickass sorority around…. I miss my girls.


     


    It’s raining & the 7th Season of Buffy just arrived at the library, which means I’m headed home to sit in my room & eat Craisins & veg for the rest of the whole damn day. Proud to be the bum that I am.


    {{{}}}

  • “It’s okay, I’m alright, just a little rough around the edges of this life.” –Teitur-


     


    I’m not used to this whole home thing yet. Like, I wanted to lip-sync in Airbands. Like, I want to go to date party & wear my geometric dress. Like, there’s a whole new pledge class I never even met & I have a Grandlittle I didn’t even know about. Like, my first Little forgot I exist, I guess, which I knew might happen. In general.


     


    I ate dinner twice tonight. Once with my mom at Panera & once with my fave couple, Kevin & Annie, at the old-skool Rockne’s where I had bacon-cheddar fries that sort of got congealed-ish & gross, and Kevin had giant, beefy nachos that looked like a massacre. Yowza.


    <<<//>>>


          * results for my search of "congealed"... what?


     


    I’ve read three Mary Higgins Clark books & am in desperate need of something deeper, so if you have any suggestions, that’d be fabulous. Annnnd GO.


     


    Also, I killed four spiders yesterday. A) I hate spiders with a burning passion and B) I hadn’t even seen a spider for, like, months prior to this. WTF? Spiders love 4/20 or something.


    ((()))


        *the only spider pic I found that I could handle


     


    Umm my mom & I signed up for the online Jewish dating service & some kid just IMed me & I'm realizing that dating websites, even as a mother-daughter joke, are probably never a good idea.


     


    Bowling tonight. I feel like being ca-razy except that they started carding, the bastards. How dare they start abiding the law? Eff that. Whatever, maybe I’ll get some strikes. HA.


    {{{}}}

  • “Choose the one who loves you more- fight all your fears.” –Copeland-


     


    Funny story: Today as I perused the sale merchandise at Kohl’s, a little old lady came up to me & asked how everything was going & if I’d found anything I liked. She proceeded to hang around- nay, follow me around- for the remainder of my shopping extravaganza… I’m actually pretty sure she was somewhat senile & actually thought I was her granddaughter or something, because she kept talking to me & asking what I was buying… so yeah, I spent an entire shopping trip dodging a not-quite-all-there septuagenarian.


    <<<>>>


     


    Is it lame that I have my library card number memorized? (Answer: A resounding, choral “YES”)


     


    Sometimes I can’t believe I ever came home. Sometimes I wonder, “What the hell were you thinking?” I went to Kent today & got so frustrated that I say in my car & cried. I miss my comfort zone. I miss my school, my campus, my sisters. I miss my house, my Court Street favorites, my weekend parties. I miss my life… who let me think this was a good decision to make? I thought this was where I belonged but maybe I don’t belong anywhere, cuz nothing ever seems to feel right.


    (((vs.)))


     


    In the end though, I chose the one who loves me more- home loves me more than school ever could, and vice versa, I think… and I just hope I’m right.


     


    I’m done with Season 6 of Buffy but someone has the entire 7th Season checked out! Gahhhh! Noooo! Spike just got his soul back- I need to see what happennnnns! (Lame again, yes)


    {{{}}}


     


    I leave you with this thought regarding the 90’s band Everything But The Girl…. their lead singer was a girl. Yeah… what?


     


    they say


    i don’t know how to love the right way

  • Sometimes everything just falls apart.


     


    I made my apologies. Or at least I tried. I keep trying...


     


    Keep my "drama" out of your gossip. Sometimes people forget that what's drama to the group is actual pain for the people involved.


     


     Sometimes it would be so nice if friends could do their jobs and just be friends. You know, listen instead of accuse. Help instead of judge. Forgive instead of condemn.


     


     Sometimes I need Jess Brunk.


     


    Sometimes there’s nothing left...


     


    I’m not as awful as everyone thinks I am… and at least I know that.


     


     I'm supposed to be alone. This is how it's supposed to go. I know it this time.


     


     


    edit:


    anger makes katy say mean things.


    thanks to jess & lisa & gina.


    my friends are always good ones.

  • “What at once just seemed the impossible now makes perfect sense.” –Mae-


     


    I got my hurr did & I sort of look like a tiger because it’s reddish with dark brown streaks. It’s cool- not only do I love my alma mater, I now resemble its mascot, as well.


     


    We went bowling last night & I did not break 100. Surprise- I never have before, ever. In fact, last night I managed to get six gutterballs in a row. Have I mentioned lately that I am awesome?



    ((()))


     


    I joined Kent Facebook today… if you were friends with me before, please be friends with me again. It’s taking me forever to find all my old friends so do me a favor & find me instead!


     


    There’s a very large lady in an equally large motorized wheelchair wheeling her way down the stacks here at the ‘brary.  She has a canvas bag strapped onto the back of the chair that reads in thick, bold lettering: “BIG.” Now, if I was as big as that lady, I certainly would not advertise it. It’s not like we can’t tell.


    <<<>>>


       ***Disclaimer: Not actual "BIG" lady. This is Mary. The caption said so.


     


    Sigma Kappa, I miss you.


     


    I’m bored, so so bored. Who wants to hang out? Call me. Numero uno event to look forward to this weekend: Annie’s 22nd birthday bash, which will no doubt be a phenomenal time, hosted by the lovely Emily Tav.


     


    Also, this came up when I Googled "BIG." Ha. What?



     


     


    we made plans


    to be unbreakable


    love was all we knew

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