“We all wanna be the baddest. We all have a little baggage, even though we hide it & we always will deny it.” –Rocket Summer-

 

Sheesh. This weekend was pretty awesome. I spent Friday with the boys at Conor’s going-away party. I bonded with Stacy & toured Kevin/Ryan/Mike’s soon-to-be home. I also met some Jews!!! I spent about an hour talking about Jewish junk with Ted & Anatol, who invited me to Israeli Backgammon Night, haha.

//////

 

And then last night, for the first time, I felt like Kent State was my school, where I belong. I was freaking out about Ben’s birthday party because it basically felt like when you’re a freshman in high school & go to a cool senior party or something… anyways, Cher & “Fucking David Bowie” got it on, I learned how to “really” grind, Team Awesome dominated flip-cup & Gavin lit a couch on fire. It was nice to feel like a part of something & it was an OU-style party, which I MISS SO MUCH.

......

                       (((Also, this picture might be the funniest thing I've ever seen.)))

  

I also found out that my cousin is getting married in September… IN NEW YORK CITY. He’s basically filthy rich & his fiancée is a book publisher (helloooo, networking!), so I almost passed out when my mom told me we’d be invited. Shiiiiit, son.

((())) 

 

In other news, the Tara Jarmon for Target collection debuted today, & I think it kind of sucks. I’m so bummed… but I bought a shirt anyway.

 

I finished my last Print Beat story today! What a huge relief and a sense of pride. Applications for the fall Stater are due tomorrow & I’m hoping against hope that I get the position I really want. Cross your fingers for me, please!

 

“Old classmates, please drop all your pens. Don’t write a word cuz I won’t reply.” –The Format-

 

I didn’t have any classes today, so I faux-shopped (tried stuff on & didn’t buy because I’m broke), which was a nice little preview of summer.

......

 

I’m applying to be a campus editor for the Stater next semester. We’ll see how it goes, but I’m not banking on anything… it’d be really cool, though, I think, & I’m dying for some real friends, lame as it may be to apply for a job to try & find some.

 

Ben’s 21^st birthday party is this weekend & I miiiiight go if I don’t have to go alone. The theme is Superheroes and Supervillains. Ben said I should be Sigourney Weaver from “Aliens”; Kevin voted for Lex Luthor.

((()))

 

Fave quote of the week:

dsarace1@mac.com: one of the humenansky twins said they thought the shaved head look on you was cute, but they were afraid to say so in case you actually had cancer

 

I know I’m a big baby, but my concussion still hurts. I also tried to rearrange all my bedroom furniture today & probably gave myself three hernias. I proceeded to nap for 2 hours…

//////

 

My life is infinitely boring… I’m ready for Sean to come home & spice up my days.

  

 

 

let's make a list of who we need

& we'll throw it away

cuz we don't need anyone

 

“Just remember what’s right for me might be not right for you.” –Rocket Summer-

 

I’m so stressed… I just want these next two weeks to be over. I’m having such a hard time juggling school, work and sanity. I feel like I’m going to explode.

//////

 

Kevin & I are planning a day at Geauga Lake for our anniversary, which sounds perfect to me. The first amusement park experience of the year is always the most fun, especially when you’re celebrating a personal holiday!

 

I want another tattoo. I’m getting that itch… if you have a tattoo, you know what I mean. It’s true that they’re addictive. I think that by now, I totally deserve my “Persevere” ink.

......

 

Also looking forward to:

§          Conor’s going away party

§          Ben’s 21^st birthday party (if I go…?)

§          Breakfast at Deb Davis’s house

§          Israeli Fest in Risman

§          Stater Banquet (if I go…?)

§          Fall Out Boy & All-American Rejects

 

I have to tell myself that the things to look forward to balance the things to dread (finals, etcetera). I just have to get through the rest of the semester…

((()))

...what is this?!

“I heard that it was you who died alone, & I offer no sympathy for that; better off I sparkle on my own.” –Anna Nalick-

 

Gillig tried to give me a piggyback ride, but he didn’t catch me when I jumped on his back. I fell directly on my head, & yesterday morning woke up with a low-grade concussion. Spent two hours in the ER & slept all day…

((()))

 

Today I’m still in pain but mainly feel like I’m in some alternate universe because of the painkillers they gave me. I’m a walking zombie.

 

You know the phrase, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”? How about- “If you can’t stand the speed, GET OUT OF THE FAST LANE.” Ughhhhh. Nothing gives me road rage more than a slow driver in the left lane.

//////

 

I’ve rediscovered my lost minor & am thinking about rebirthing my attempt to achieve it. This means more classes… but if I’m gonna be here for another year anyway, I guess I may as well take some classes, right?

 

I’m getting used to this baldness thing. I mean, I sure don’t love it or anything, but it makes getting ready in the morning an absolute snap, & I can’t complain about that!

......

 

Oddly enough, I’m happy. And I’m happy about being happy. Thank goodness.

 

 

 

 

 

i’m driving 95 & i’m driving you away

& i shine a little more lately

“You gotta break free, you gotta break out, so everybody knows what you’re all about.”-Brandtson again-

 

I figure it must be nice to be an inherent asshole; to treat people like scum & feel no remorse. I, fortunately, am not blessed with the ability to be heartless, as convenient as it would be.

(the only difference that i see is you are exactly the same as you used to be)

 

We went to the Firefly Lounge, a new hookah bar in Kent, last night for Kyle’s birthday. It was soooo much fun. We got vanilla, fruit punch & orange hookahs, & basically just sat around shooting the shit & taking dumb pictures & having a blast.

//////

 

Apparently everyone & their brother has seen me on Sportscenter getting my head shaved. Crrrrazy. I wish I watched ESPN, because I really want to see myself on there!

 

Kevin, Ryan & Kopow are HOPEFULLY moving in together sometime near the beginning of the summer, & I could not be more excited. Laura & I can be the cute Jewish girlfriends who cook Jew-food for their boys, & I won’t have to be at HOME all the time. Scorrrrrrrre.

((()))

 

Gillig is having a par-tay tonight. I haven’t drank forever, so this is very exciting. Happy weekend!

THIS IS WHAT I DID TODAY.

 

 

Click here if you want to know why.

 

I feel so unbearably ugly...

But proud.

“I fell asleep & woke up with the peace of mind to tell you that it’s over.” –Brandtson-

 

I bought a GORGEOUS dress today, & I hope that I have an occasion to wear it to sometime in the near future. I mean, it’s seriously amazing & you should be jealous. And someone should take me out to a fancy dinner or a play or something so that I can wear it.

////// 

Newest discovery: chocolate yogurt. Incredible, really. Those Yoplait people know their stuff!

 

I’m done reading minds & breaking heart &, most importantly, playing games. Basically, I’m moving on. It’s spring, the time when everything comes to life again… & I intend to do the same. Time for a new life, no matter how much it hurts, & I won’t regret a goddamn thing.

((()))

 

Funniest thing I heard today: "She has some nerve telling you YOU need to go tanning. She's a motherfuckin' ghost. Tell her to take the sheet off her head."

 

Things I'm looking forward to:

·          PRINT BEAT IS ALMOST OVER!

·          Washington, D.C. is getting closer & closer…

·          I’m dog-sitting this weekend = $$$

·          Hillel’s Yeast Feast on Thursday – beer & bread again!!!

·          Brandton’s “Hello, Control” comes out May 2^nd

And… best for last…

·          My 1-year anniversary with Kevin on May 19^th

 {{{}}}

 

 

 

 

chin up, kid; never say die

& don't let them see you cry

“Would I be able to say that despite what I feel now that everything’ll be okay?” –Brandtson-

 

I LEFT MY FLIPPING FLASHDRIVE AT THE STUDENT CENTER AGAIN! It has my entire Print Beat package on it, so I called everyone I know in a frantic frenzy. I need to surgically attach that thing to myself somehow.

//////

 

I love driving with the windows down, blaring The Format & singing at the top of my lungsssssss. An old man gave me a death-look today because I probably looked like a huge crazyperson.

 

I have a million bazillion jillion things to do in the next two weeks, but it’s oddly exhilarating to be so close to the end of the semester, to know that I just have to do this, this & this, & then I’m DONE. I looove finishing in May instead of mid-June!

((())) 

 

WASHINGTON IS COMING. I couldn’t be more thrilled to get out of this town, if only briefly. I’m pretty much stalking all the other participants on Facebook, wondering who my roommates will be & if I’ll like them & if this will be all work or if we’ll get some fun & games, too… I’ve bought a thousand awesome articles of clothing solely for the purpose of this trip…

 

New schedule starts today. It’s awesome not going in until 5:45. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

 

the secret to any regret is

not to let it affect you

but don’t ever forget.

“Honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy. This is the distance & this is my game face.” –The Fray-

 

This has, surprisingly, been a really fun weekend. Kevin & I saw “Inside Man” (faaaabulous!) & then watched mock-news on TV while eating Edy’s Grand ice cream right out of the container.

 

Beware the bourbon chicken at the mall… I got maaaaaassive food poisoning while shopping with Ameir today, & spent a long while barfing in the Sears bathroom. Luckily, we both scored some badass sunglasses before the bout of illness…

<<<>>>

 

I spend tonight sitting on the kitchen floor with my best friend of all time, Miss Christina, just talking about life & weddings & parents & morals & Israel. Later we played Dutch Blitz with the little bro, who flipping won, as always, but we fought ‘til the death!

 

Also, I got my hair cut at Great Clips because it was all I could afford, & it actually looks really good. I went in & picked out the stylist with the best hair & requested her. She was a doll. I may even go back!

((())) 

 

All in all – even though I generally think Easter is borrrring, I have no complaints about the lovely weekend that I’ve been having, regardless of what I expected. ESPECIALLY in light of what I expected, even. I can’t wait til school’s out & I have a solid month of doing stuff like this…

I was stupid for thinking that anything could ever be fixed, or even pretend to be. I was stupid to rush home in such an excited frenzy. I was stupid to think I could ever quietly blend back in.

 

 Soon I'll learn to give up on this shit for real.

 

 

i am fairly agile

i can bend & not break