“Tell me not to change & always be the same. Tell me that’s a good thing. (It’s a good thing.)” –Bo Bice

I go through odd food obsessions, where I’ll be obsessed with one food for like four weeks, and then I’ll be over it & I’ll move on to something else. Right now – Aladdin’s chicken pitza. Sure, it’s an expensive food habit, but it’s healthier than some of my past fixations & generally far tastier,too.

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I’ve been seeing the same obnoxious truck everywhere – in Kent, in Stow, in Cuyahoga Falls. It has Democrat bumper stickers & usually contains a small dog that somewhat resembles the pug from Men In Black. Seriously, it’s everywhere, crossing cities & counties & following me around.

Watching Roswell has me all hot & bothered by Brendan Fehr’s overwhelming hotness.

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At the current moment, I’m having a few different mental dilemmas. I choose not to expound upon them, but it’d be great if people cared about me the way I cared about them. It’d also be great if my way of expressing sadness was not by getting irrationally angry.

Favorite thing anyone said to me today:

elegancewhispers: http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm

elegancewhispers: just incase umm

elegancewhispers: u decide to sleep with a 12 yo Australian

      And later:

elegancewhispers: there's all these attractive ________ men (name deleted for conversational safety)

elegancewhispers: god

elegancewhispers: enough for everyone to have one

elegancewhispers: or at least a round

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“It’s okay, I’m all right. I’m just a little rough around the edges of this life.” –Teitur

Today has been the moodiest day ever. It’s been so up & down, a mess of emotions that don’t match. I don’t know how to feel.

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I had a somewhat regrettable experience at last night’s “Dominatrix Future Partay,” but damnnn, I looked good doing it. I love themed parties. I love pretending to be something I’m not. I love wearing tons of eyeliner & dressing up like someone else for a night every once in awhile.

Today… [drumroll please]… I was offered a position as a Legislative Assistant for the Religious Action Center in Washington, D.C. I, of course, accepted. I don’t think I’ve ever been so surprised in my life! It doesn’t pay very well (read: terribly), but it’s an incredible opportunity that I couldn’t dream of passing up. And I’ll be in D.C. next year!

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Now if only I could get some good news about an internship… I learned that if I only find something part-time, I can’t graduate until December because I’ll have to intern until September or so. But because the RAC program begins in August, it’s now a necessity for me to graduate in August. I’m crossing every crossable appendage in hopes of Stateline. It’d be perfect, bridging journalism (my major) and politics (my assistantship). Say a prayer.

And while you’re  praying… John still needs all of them that he can get. He had two surgeries today, & he’s still not in the clear.

Staying up too late doing nothing at all. Efffff.

“I guess that’s what makes life so interesting – keeping yourself open, letting new people in, changing your mind. Not being afraid of the unexpected.” –Liz, Roswell

Spring Break is going along quite nicely. I’m rather glad I decided not to go to the Gulf Coast, because it just wouldn’t have been right for me. I needed this, this week to regroup & be with my friends & family. I didn’t necessarily need to sleep in until 2 p.m. today, but… hey, whatever.

And everything happens for a reason. I was home to hear the news that a friend of mine had been in a bad motorcycle accident, & although I can’t do anything for him, I’m glad I was home to find out. Please say a prayer for him – he hit a patch of gravel & a guardrail & right now it’s looking pretty iffy.

Ameir got a big-kid job in Washington, D.C. & Elise got an internship with Cleveland Magazine, and I… still haven’t heard anything. Well, that’s a lie. I’ve gotten four rejections, but I’ve yet to hear anything positive. I’m crossing all my fingers & hoping so hard that I get the Stateline internship, but I won’t know until next week.

I rented the first season of Roswell on DVD & am spending a great deal of time watching that & chillaxin’. I’m also eating healthfully & doing a pretty darn good job. Spring Break HOLLA.

“Someday I’ll fly. Someday I’ll soar. Someday I’ll be so damn much more.” –John Mayer

A blind man in Oregon hired a deaf guy to be his apprentice. I’m fascinated as to how this can possibly work. How on earth will they communicate in this Helen Keller friendship?!

I had an interview today with the Utne Reader that I think went really well, except for the part when I leaned back on my bed & a massive picture frame fell off my wall & clocked me on the head.

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I’m supposed to hear from The Washingtonian by the end of the week and Stateline.org by the beginning of April. BPEF said it’d be a few weeks… I just want to know where I’ll be this summer, what I’ll be doing & for whom. I hate not knowing what my life will be like a mere two months from now.

I bought the most hilarious shirt on the planet yesterday for $2 from Gabe’s. It has Notorious BIG’s face on it in pink glitter. Seriously, I love it with an intensely amusing passion.

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I’m on muscle relaxers and painkillers for my back right now, and my doctor freaked me out by telling me to hope it’s not a surgical problem… I almost cried. I can’t imagine the thought of having to go through all that again. I’m getting x-rays tomorrow & hoping for the best.

dear catastrophe girlfriend:

she can’t understand how everyone goes on living when true love ends.

YYY

heaven’s not a place that you go when you die

it’s that moment in life when you actually feel alive

so live for the moment, and take this advice:

love is just a hoax, so forget anything you have heard

* -* - * -* - * -* - * -* - * -* - * -* - * -* - * -* -

d e a d b e a t  s w e e t h e a r t

* -* - * -* - * -* - * -* - * -* - * -* - * -* - * -* -

could somebody show me

the kind of affection

that you only see in the movies?

Y

oh,no.

love

just

leaves

you

BRUISED.

“At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody.” –Meredith, Grey’s Anatomy

I haven’t Xanga’d for nearly a month. How disgustingly amazing is that? I’ve never gone that long without blogging. I’m sort of bummed that everyone’s abandoned Xanga, but I felt like hitting it up again…

I got an HIV test yesterday because it was free & I think it’s a smart thing for anyone who’s ever had sex to have done. I tested negative, so fret not – but the finger-prick hurt like MAD. The testing guy even said, “Wow, you’re a bleeder.” Behind, “You’re positive,” that’s definitely the last thing I want to hear at an HIV test!

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I’m not ashamed to admit that DVR has become my boyfriend. It’s reliable & dependable & never lets me down. It keeps me happy every night! Boyfriendness aside, I love being able to be obsessed with every show I want to be obsessed with. Yay.

Today I drove my car onto a curb while parking at Starbucks… & it got stuck. Like, my car just got hitched onto the curb & would not come off. It was the oddest thing ever. Two guys physically lifted my little Civic & kind of launched it back into the parking spot. I think I’m halfway retarded.

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This weekend is quite a mix of emotions: two birthdays, a date, a funeral and a holiday. Marisa & I discussed doing away with holidays, because the past few Valentine’s & St. Patrick’s Day weeks have held some sort of tragedy for us & people we know. So screw organized celebration – I’m makin’ up my own holidays from now on!