“All your sanity & wits, they all vanish. I promise it’s just a matter of time.” –Gogol Bordello-

I’m working 4-10 tonight so that an old friend can join other old friends in a trip to Cleveland, which admittedly hurts a little bit. And although I’d rather be doing something fun like that than working, the truth is that I have zero planned for this break (which is going horribly) & so I’m working & sucking it up. Fuck.

Oh, I do have a few things planned: keep watching “Smallville” on DVD. Sweet.

((()))

                      * pretty, pretty *

I’ve been involved in a discussion on Facebook about gender-specific pronouns & which pronouns should be used for transgendered people. It’s really interesting so far. If this is a topic that interest you, check it out here.

And if you like fried chicken & possibly-racist parodies, go here.

......

“Let the pain burn away from our hearts. We have time to start all over again.” –Copeland-

I’m better now. Thanks for asking. Ohhh, wait, you didn’t.

Thus far over break I’ve: smoked some hookah & made some cash & watched some movies (“United 93,” all three X-Men films…) & attended a bat mitzvah & rented “Smallville” on DVD. And tomorrow I’m making copies of my résumé to send all over the damn country, but mainly to D.C.

I went home this weekend, & for the first time in my life, it didn’t quite feel right. I felt a bit out of place, a little off. I couldn’t fall asleep in my own bed, & all I wanted was to come home to my apartment. To top it off, my mom got this super-shitty couch that I hate sitting on, so cozying up to watch TV is totally not an option, thus ruining the Home Experience further.

On another note, white fudge-covered Flipz are the tastiest things everrr, if not also the unhealthiest.

"I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." -John Mayer-

To do over Break:

• Stop going to bed at 4 a.m.
• Keep renting mass quantities of movies
• See a few movies in the theatre
• Work at the Nat as much as possible
• Perfect my resume & clip file
• Look HARD for an internship
• Maybe go to Detroit for New Year's?
• Or to a cocktail party at the McPow's...
• Birds & Elephants on New Year's Day

Wow, those are sort of lame plans, overall, huh??

PS:

parisxheiressx (6:33:04 PM): christmas is too far away. i want my damn ipod

kateastrophe 7 (6:33:14 PM): I looooove mine
parisxheiressx (6:33:23 PM): what kind is it?
kateastrophe 7 (6:33:49 PM): A black 30GB
parisxheiressx (6:34:08 PM): nice
parisxheiressx (6:34:13 PM): i asked for a white 30gb
parisxheiressx (6:34:33 PM): our ipods should get together and make a baby
kateastrophe 7 (6:34:48 PM): Haha
kateastrophe 7 (6:34:52 PM): A nice little mixed baby
kateastrophe 7 (6:35:00 PM): It'll be the iPod version of you!

 To see:

• Stranger Than Fiction
• The Pursuit of Happyness
• Blood Diamond
• The Holiday
• Deja Vu

Anyone game for these?

“I fall too hard, I feel too much. I thought that you might have some advice to give on how to be insensitive.” –Jann Arden-

Note: This is from a few hours ago, but my Internet wasn't working then...

I feel sick to my stomach. I’m done letting this happen. This time… this time it went too far, got  too close to my heart, closer than anyone has gotten to my heart in a very, very long time. I’m done doing this. I’m done letting people in.

On an unrelated note, my “Moslem” is graduating, & I’m just realizing how stupid I was not to have hung out with him more this semester. We spent Tuesday night at Luna’s, quoting Dane Cook & scaring waitresses & discussing life. I love that kid…

This is my last winter break ever! So far, I’ve spent it sleeping & looking for internships & watching movies & episodes of “Law & Order” I’ve never seen. It’s kind of lonely, but at least it’s relaxing.

Also, I dropped a drink in my purse last Friday & short-circuited by phone. Right now, I have my mom’s ghetto-fab non-flip Motorola with a one-color screen. If you want me to ever call you or answer your calls, hit me up with tu numero.

Back to wallowing-slash-trying-not-to-wallow.

SparkLR2002: well I was just going to call you the all knowing trash heap, and then thought against it incase you had never seen Fraggle Rock, and were insulted that I had called you trash.
SparkLR2002:  But you are.  You are my all knowing trash heap.

“I will never fall in love. I will never really explain myself, but honey, I will sing.” –Lovedrug-

This weekend has been phenomenal, for the most part, save an incident on Friday night. The show last night was exactly what I needed to feel good about life & the beginning of break.

The other thing that didn’t hurt? Being asked to be Managing Editor of Fusion next semester!

So break is here, & I rang in the first day of it by sleeping ‘til 2:50 in the afternoon. Disgusting, I know, but now I feel fabulous. I’m cleaning my room & the house & watching “Derailed” & “X-Men” until my Fusion and Stater meetings tonight. One exam tomorrow, & then I’m home free.

At last night’s show, I realized just how much Dave’s death has impacted my life – in a positive way. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be friends with half of these people – with Kevin & Ryan & Sam & Mike. They all came from him, in some way or another. He brought us together. I miss & mourn him every day, but I keep learning that everything, truly, happens for a reason.

Some hearts, they just get all the right breaks.

Some hearts have the stars on their side.

Some hearts, they just have it so easy.

Some hearts just get lucky sometimes.

 (For the record... I do not have one of these hearts.)

 

 

 

i wish i could tell him how i feel without ruining everything.

 

he would care, but it wouldn't matter...

G-d bless whomever wrote this on the bathroom mirror of the Music & Speech building.

(it made my day!)

“We’ll never be younger than today, & today’s left us so fast.” –Tahiti 80-

I threw out a burned cone of apple cider incense that had, apparently, not finished burning. It burnt a hole straight through the bottom of my trash can, melting plastic & ash onto my rental carpet.

I’m currently doing homework while watching “Keeping up with the Steins,” which is hilariously Jewish & makes me miss my MKs all the more. I miss kosher & Yiddish & crazy, opinionated Jews.

Everyone should buy and/or download the soundtrack to “Everything is Illuminated,” which has made my life a happier place to be. Seriously. It’s fucking amazing.

One thing even a stellar soundtrack cannot cure is the fact that I ran out of money. Embarrassing & awful: I can’t pay my bills & have to borrow $500 from my mom for my winter rent. Damn it.

 EDIT: The biggest disappointment of my semester thus far came tonight, but I can't talk about it on here. I actually cried because I was so freaking bummed. I was so excited, so proud, only to realize it's all fucked up. But who can I even tell? There goes what could have been the best part of my year.