“There’s no love like apathy.” –The Format-

 

In the immortal words of the glorious Dane Cook... “Ummmm, hello?” Directed at Mother Nature, I want to know why the Nature Diva couldn’t have given us this fab weather over the weekend, when I could have been getting paid based on it. Thanks a lot, you fickle bitch.
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Today my MassCom class smelled pungently of bologna & I also noticed that my professor pronounces the word “era” as “error” and it really confuses me sometimes. Also, I got a low B on my exam, which totally doesn’t rock, but a lot of people failed it, so I’ll live.

 

I decided that my destiny is to be a drummer. I’ve caught myself drumming a lot while I drive, & just in general noticing drum parts more. Seriously, wouldn’t that be a great outlet for someone as temperamentally unstable as myself? Ponder that…. YES. Now, if only I could afford a freakin’ drums set. Maybe I’ll move in with David.

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I saw Star Wars last night with the McGarvey boys & royally pissed off the guy sitting in front of us when I laughed at the scene where Darth Vader’s mask is first set into place. Ummm, okay, it was “historic,” sure, but hilarious? Definitely. All, like, “chink-chink, chink-chink, *commence crazy breathing*.”

 

You’re so vain- you probably think this post is about you, dontchu, donnnntchu?

((())) 

In Memoriam

“we’ll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go”

 

David R. Bigam
My friendly, funny, wonderful father

 

June 19^th, 1995

 

 

Marvin & Eva Ritz
My amazing grandparents

 
March 16^th, 2000 & October 7^th, 2004

 

 

David J. Kozak

My first love & my shining star

 

February 10^th, 2005

 

That’s what today is really for, right? Remembering? Not parades or shopping or a day off of school. It’s really about rememberance… and with joy rather than sorrow. I have four guardian angels- we should all be so blessed...

“Hey, kid, you go wrong more times than you thought you could be, running on streaks of no money.” –Wheat-

 

Look at me, look at me, spending money I barely have, pretending like I’m Donald Trump’s new wife with the name that sounds like a skin disease… I bought beautiful shoes today, sequined all over, because I fell in love with them & held nothing back.

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Lisa offered me two tickets to The Killers/Hot Hot Heat concert at Scene tonight for twenty bucks a pop, and I had no one to go with & I was so frickin’ bummed because HOW much do I love HHH?

 

Why is it that as soon as I start dating someone, attractive guys come out of the woodwork to go out of their way to hit on me?! Are you going to believe me if I tell you that the Hot Applebee’s Waiter, a.k.a. Quentin Tarantino, asked me last night if I wanted to go out sometime? Or that the cute poli sci major in my Physics class asked the same thing? WTF? Where are these boys when I’m single?!! Murphy’s Law, I swear it.

((()))

 

The apartment that Marisa & Michelle & I were gonna go look at only allows 2 adults & 2 children in each apartment so the decision is obviously that Marisa is going to adopt me & because my real Mama.

 

Sam & Gillig are having a party tonight & cool me volunteered to DD for it. Boooo sobriety.

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PS, join my new blogring. (ß click there!)

“She don’t run from the sun no more. She boxed her shadow & she won.” –Anna Nalick-

 

Ummm, don’t worry, I realized that 60 comments is too much to ask, plus I have a short attention span so, you know, I’m back.

 

Currently obsessed with: Son, Ambulance. The singer has a voice like a smoother Conor Oberst mixed with some Jack Johnson mellowness. Also, I think the band is currently defunct. Damn itttt.

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       *if my kid was that hilariously cute, i'd name my band after him, too

 

Oooh, ooh, oooooh, tomorrow’s the big day. That’s right, kiddies, Waterworks Family Aquatic Center (more commonly known as the FAC) is open for business starting tomorrow. Summer is now in session!

 

I totally passed both of my exams with flying colors because I rock like that, even if I had a temporary temper tantrum at the bowling alley last night due to studying all day. Aah, the price I pay to be as smart as I appear to be. (Note: HA)

((()))

 

I think I love Kent. Everyone there is so freakin’ friendly. I love the people in my classes- we all talk & chat & gossip & help each other out & it feels like… well, like nice people. It’s not that I don’t miss OU… it’s just that I feel better here.

And what the eff is this about? Can any of you honestly tell me that this picture is not fabulously hilarious? I'm prooooobably dying of laughter right now.

 

 

someday we'll all be old

and i'll be so damn beautiful

“I’m comin’ outta my cage & I’ve been doin’ just fine.” –The Killers-

 

It’s hotter than hell in mid-July in KSU’s library. Seriously, I’m toasty enough that you could scramble a frickin’ egg on my forehead. What’s this library named, anyway? I miss my main squeeze, Vernon Roger Alden.

 

I can’t go bowling tonight because I have to study for a MassCom test. Lucky me. Also, my professor, who looks like a cross between Star Jones & Oprah, is a freakin’ soldier when it comes to this Intersession thing. You’d think she’d lighten up a little on a three-week session, but alas, we have a group project due next week. There are more people in my group than there are weeks in our class? WTF!

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            *Note: These pics totally don't do justice to the actual comparison

 

Also, I have a Physics exam today. That’s right, I said Physics… yes, me. I also sometimes want to throttle the kid next to me because he really talks a lot, but I also like him a bunch & he gave me a Capri Sun yesterday, which was suhweeet except for I dropped it & it rolled down the floor, which is on an incline. Also, he gave me a ride to my car & also, his name is Ron. And also, we make fun of people together & I’m pretty sure our professor despises us. Oops.

 

Annie & made a trip to the famous Gabe’s today, where I purchased a shirt that says “Ducks Unlimited” for no real reason. Also, I got a hairclip that has a dinosaur on it for 33 cents. I know, I’m like 12, right?
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                            *Helloooooo, Google, this picture has zero to do with ducks!

Note to self (& Microsoft Word): Why is there no cents sign on the computer?

 

Note to Xangans who are lame: A lot of times I get bored & post mean things on lame sites. Whatever, you deserve it. I don’t even feel bad that I’m 20 and you’re 15. Okayyyy, maybe I do. But stop being lame. You can keep being thirteen, just quit with the being lameness.

 

Okay, I’m seriously roasting my naches off up in this shiz, so I need to go to another floor or another building or something, which means IIIIIIII’m OUTTA here! Pretend I said that the way the Genie does at the end of Aladdin, okay?

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PS, I'm considering not posting again until I get at least 60 comments. That's the average number of Xangans (not guests) who visit my site every day, so why dontchu comment already, bitchezzz? Nice, mean, whatever- GO!

“Watch angels in the morning become a devil’s afternoon.” –Lovedrug-

 

Hey, hey, it’s secret time. Well, not so much a secret since basically everyone knows, but why not tell you, anyway? I'm dating Kevin. That's right, Dave's best friend. And it’s going extremely well. And that’s all there is to it, and I’m happy right now.
((()))
            *Disclaimer: These people are totally not us. They're just funny & angelic.

 

I’m actually pretty happy right now for a myriad of reasons. It just feels so good to be back in school, taking classes- even really long, boring lecture classes during the summer. And my job is about to start, which is phenomenal because I miss it. And I have amazing friends, as driven home by the way they have been supporting me lately, & even though my mom & I had a massive falling out, she’s okay, too.

 

On the school front- two days down, thirteen to go. Sort of, cuz I have a class at 5:30 tonight, but whatever. Today I A) didn’t get lost B) came right home & took a three hour nap, and C) ate some really good wheel-shaped hors d’ouvres things.
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I love people who say random things, a.k.a. this:

jellybeanz7729: i had to sing to old people today

 

There’s a sign near the education building at Kent that read, “Caution, Deaf Employee.” Wouldn’t it suck really bad to be that deaf employee? To have a dumb sign all to yourself- and a hideous neon orange sign, at that?
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My life is boring, nothing to tell, apologies all around. Lovelove.

“My world, it moves so fast today & the past, it seems so far away.” –Lauryn Hill-

 

I was late getting onto campus because I had to stop at a BP on my way to be ill. I was so uneasy about starting school that my nerves basically imploded.

 

I was wrong about the location of my first class- very wrong. I parked on the other side of campus & got completely lost. I called my mom in panicky tears & she calmly looked up a KSU map & told me where to go. I was 17 minutes late to my first class.
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The guy sitting next to me, Chris, offered to drive me back to my car after class, since it was so ungodly far away.  He asked if I wanted a tour- I did, so he spent 20 minutes driving me around campus & pointing things out. He said I “seem smart” & asked if I’d be willing to help him pass the class- I said definitely, and in return he promised to introduce me to some people.

 

Quizno’s at the Hub is closed for the summer (boo, you whore), so I had a fab breakfast sandwich & a fruit/yogurt/granola cup from Einstein Bros. Bagels. I also tried hazelnut coffee, which needless to say, I will never drink again, no matter how much cream & sugar awaits me.

((()))

 

The sky exploded into a thunderstorm, all Athens-style- it felt like OU all over again minus the hills & the having of an umbrella. Spent a half hour wandering the bookstore- bought a $12 umbrella (rip-off much?) & a damn $40 book that’s not available online because it’s in packet form, those bastard professors.   

 

But it’s a nice campus & I have a nice professor in an interesting class with nice classmates. Everything seems, well… nice. I have one more class at 5:30 tonight & if it goes well, today won’t have been too very awful, despite my rocky start.

 

And amazing, astonishingly, astoundingly, but most of all thankfully…. In the famous words of America’s classic redhead, Little Orphan Annie, “I think I’m gonna like it here.” And praise God for that, huh?

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and I made up my mind

to define my own destiny

“Don’t you feed me lies about some idealistic future.” –The Postal Service-

 

Last night John Brown had a birthday party & he was wearing a thong made of candy necklaces . I was the brave (or crazy) girl who agreed to eat the candy off of his crotch. Don’t worry, people, he had pants on. And I love candy necklaces. And I didn’t have a birthday present, so what better way to show my love? Whatever, sluts.

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Kevin & I party-hopped last night. By the time we left Conor’s party, it was morning & birds were chirping & I was drunk as shit. And consequently, I woke up hungover as shit, a.k.a. I thought I was probably dying.

 

Perks of being the birthday bitch at the Natatorium is the free cake. I got some hecka good pastry cake today & also a bowl of fruit salad with some questionable fruits in it that I think were mangoes posing as pineapples.

(((/   )))

 

I was thinking about how glad I am that the term “worrywart” has nothing to do with real life. I would be the wartiest person alive if they sprouted from actual worry. Oh, sick.

 

Speaking of worrying, I start classes tomorrow, even though I don’t know where my class buildings are or where the parking lots I’m allowed to park in are. Also, I don’t have the books for the one class & also I will probably become a hermit for the next three weeks. See you in June.

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will somebody please call the surgeon?

“It’s always some excuse- too tired, too obtuse.” –The Format-

 

I have a love/hate relationship with stupid vanity plates, like my friend Grant’s mom, whose convertible plate is “NO RAIN.” Or the one I saw at Applebee’s last night that said, “SW8PEA,” & I realized that didn’t actually make a ton of sense- swate pea? Right. My favorite one seen recently was probably “XXL.”

 

On the boy front, Liz is maybe the most badass friend in the world for making attempts to hook me up with Quentin/John (refer to past entries). His real name is Edward Joshua (swoon), but he goes by Josh- the nickname of his middle name, just like me. Fate is calling us together, clearly.

((()))

 

I went thrifting with some cool kids today, like this girl & this guy, & I totally made out (not with them, geez!). I bought three shirts, all of which are red, a pair of satiny purple flats, five ties to wear as belts, one yellow straw purse, a super-hot checkered blazer & two necklaces. One of the shirts reads, “Just Another Sexy Bald Guy” & I’m hoping my mom will be cool & help me make it into a funky purse because come on, that’s funny, right?

 

I’m eating Cracklin’ Oat Bran right now, which my mom bought me when I was little & in retrospect is a terrible food for children, since bran is meant to help make old people have bowel movements or something.

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My friends are cooler than I oftentimes give them credit for, on quite a few fronts. To those of you who figured out my “issue,” either by guessing it (à her) or by coercing it out of me (à her) or just by being super-easy to talk to (à her), thanks for not being all, “You’re an effing immoral a-hole.” Also, Clare, can we be friends in person this summer?

 

Also, who doesn't love this picture? Sean's nips can cut glass., I think

 

“You tried to keep it a secret, but now the world’s gonna know you tried for perfection.” –The Faint-

 

Word on the street is that the Bigam residence just entered the year 2005, as opposed to the 1982 it had been living in for the past year. That’s right, folks, I have the Internet again. I’ve spent all afternoon looking at random Xangas & selling stuff on eBay.

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Things you probably don’t know about me. As follows.

·         I have a really acute sense of smell.

·         One thing I pride myself on is being good with similes.

·         My biggest fear is that I’m actually crazy.

·         My hands & nose are cold a lot.

·         I have a scar on my finger that I got from a pretzel.

·         I hate the way that Styrofoam sounds when it rubs together.

·         I don’t have a single mole anywhere on my body.

·         My cell phone ringer is “My Angel is a Centerfold.”

·         I make fun of people who don’t necessarily deserve it.

·         I’m not very fond of children.

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Yesterday was my first taste of summer for the… well, summer. We got the ice cream ma-chine working & I ate a cup of vanilla with a knife cuz chocolate wasn’t frozen & we didn’t have spoons & it was delectable despite both of those issues.

 

Some things are going on in my head right now but unfortunately for me, I can’t really tell anyone right now because I’m just not comfortable with how they’ll react. A protected post is up about it if you care to read the details.

 

I’m eating off-brand Cheerios like it’s my freaking job. Seriously, my stomach is ready to explode with wholegrain oats.

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Upcoming plans include:

·         Goldtones concert tonight with my bestest

·         wwFAC orientation tomorrow like whoaaaa

·         Dinner @ TGIFriday’s & viewing Episode III with Kev tomorrow night

·         Makin’ pocket change on Sunday, my last day at the Nat

 

PS- This next pic is, clearly, my tattoo. Say what you will! I’m lovin’ it.

 

And also, simply because we are so very good-looking a bunch... me & my girls, for your viewing pleasure.