Overwhelmed.

“What’d you say? That you only meant well? Well, of course you did.” –Imogen Heap-

I feel sick… I think I had too much caffeine. A Pepsi, a Dr. Pepper & a Starbucks caramel mocha are way more than my generally water-&-beer-only body can handle. I want to throw up.

This weekend was, for the most part, a decent one. Friday was drunken & dramatic, but I love being in costume & I love my friends, so all was not lost. I wrote a pseudo-emotional Myspace blog about it, if you care to hit that up. No one got my costume, but it was a fun one – the Keebler Elf lives!

((( )))

And now – another work-filled week begins, except that this week I vow to be more productive than I was last week. I need to wake up earlier, go to bed sooner – I need to start cracking down. It’s week 10, & this semester will be over soon enough.

Every once in awhile I get this surge of inspiration, where I know in my heart – I’m going to be a writer. Sometimes I hate it, but if I weren’t doing it, I would be lost; I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I’m scared every day, & I complain every 20 seconds or so... but if I weren’t doing this, what would I be doing? A writer is all I know how to be – all I want to be.

//////

“Just because I’m sorry doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it at the time.” –Snow Patrol-

My neighbors are back to being pretentious, party-loving assholes who turn the music up too loud & sit on the ground outside our door smoking cigarettes whose odor wafts into my open bedroom window. Bastards.

Tomorrow night is HALLOWEEN, & I still need red tights & a white wig! I did, however, purchase 5 boxes of cookies & learn how to tie a tie, so all is not yet lost.

//////

Today I had 25 copies of my résumé & writing clips made on fancy Office Max paper. I’m planning on applying for 5 internships right now, & I need to look for more. It’s kind of exciting to think of the possibility of working at a real magazine this summer.

I have high hopes for this weekend, which could be a good thing or a bad thing. We’ll see. I’ll keep you updated now that my Xanga is back in commission.

((()))

PS, in case you weren't sure, I effing despise my neighbors hardcore to the maxx. With two x's.

“Inside  your room you said, ‘You never really live until your back’s against the wall’ – oh, did you mean it?” –Voxtrot-

HELP!!!

Something is wrong with my Xanga site!!!! I had hardly stay on it for 20 seconds – it goes straight to a paid pop-up site. Does anyone know how to help me? Please email me at skbigam@gmail.com.

I’m being the Keebler Elf for Halloween. I absolutely can’t wait for the party on Friday back in CFalls. I hope people show up… I hope it’s fun. Hopehopehope.

My life is overwhelming again. That is all.

Movies I Want To See:

·          Shopgirl

·          Munich

·          The Lake House

·          Just Friends

·          Good Night & Good Luck

·          Elizabethtown

·          Brokeback Mountain

·          Lucky Number Slevin

·          The Break-Up

·          The Prestige

·          The Departed

·          Crash

·          Million Dollar Baby

·          Marie Antoinette

·          Madagascar

·          The Bourne Supremacy

·          Pirates of the Caribbean 2

·          Stranger Than Fiction

·          The Da Vinci Code

·          Talladega Nights

·          The Devil Wears Prada

·          Dogma

·          Traffic

·          The Italian Job

 Addition:

·          The Last Kiss

“I live on both sides of the fence, & the grass is always green.” –‘Lucky Number Slevin’

I wonder if Xanga is a bad idea, if this whole blogging thing is a horrible idea. People read these snippets of my life, snippets that really don’t in any way define the whole picture of my life or of myself as a person, & they come to all these assumptions. Assumptions about who I am & how I think & what my state of mind might be.

This weekend has been a bit of a disaster.

My mom says: “You can never go back.”

My grandma says: “You know what you left behind.”

My friend Aaron says: “Not all people are good people.”

My friend Kevin says: “I don’t even get it.”

My friend Sam says: Something to the effect of “Beat bitches dowwwn.”

So is Xanga a bad idea? Do you people think you know too much about my life? I mean, you don’t know me just by reading this (unless you already know me), so how can you read my semi-daily rants & think this is (all of) who I am?

“Hit me like a sucker punch, rotten to the core.” –Goo Goo Dolls-

I just got some news that makes me want to throw up: My neighbors are getting a divorce.

My neighbor remarried maybe 6 or 7 years ago, to a guy I adored. He’s nice, funny, charismatic – he always has a crazy story or a ridiculous, cheesy joke. When I left for OU as a freshman, he took he out for dinner & a drink & reminded me that if I ever need anything, anything I couldn’t tell my mom, I could call him & he would be there for me, whether I needed him to pick me up or give me money, or anything.

He took care of our dog & drove my mom to the airport & invited us over for home cooked dinners. He threw his wife an extravagant surprise party just two weeks ago.

Today my mom called to tell me that my neighbors are getting a divorce, that she’s changing the locks so he can’t get in, that she got new phone numbers & changed all her bank accounts, that he’s been fired from his job. My mom moved our extra key, just in case, and my neighbor is going away for the week, staying with family.

It’s just so scary & sudden. What could he have done? Was he cheating on her? Was he doing something at work, embezzling money or something? Are we supposed to be afraid of him now? Is he really going to try to break in, follow her, hurt us?

He reminded me of my dad. I always knew my dad would have loved him – they would have been fast friends. And now he’s gone from our lives, so suddenly, like he never existed, & I’m supposed to be okay with this? I don’t know if my mom realizes how upset I am by this. I loved him.

I want to throw up.

glossandsauce: not much going on with me except my hair is way longer
ShugarMtn: wow,  if i didnt know that your hair was so short before, that would probably be the most mundane and boring comment ever

 

Protected up
(hit it)

“I’m done rippin’ myself off.” –The Raconteurs-

I had a really fabulous weekend. I braved the 7 Floors of Hell haunted houses in Berea with some Stater pals then hit up a rockin’ party which you can read about here. Saturday, I chilled with the gang for Mel’s birthday (I bought her a mag-in-a-bag, alcohol & a lottery ticket!).

<<<>>>

                       *these are my bosses!!!

Also, Kevin & I carved pumpkins last night. Mine were pretty generic, but they turned out better than last year’s! It’s nice to be on such amicable terms with my ex – I think we’ve making the relationship-to-friendship transition nicely.

I’m so addicted to Chipotle green salsa that the girl at the register recognizes me & tonight introduced herself to me. I went purely to stockpile some more salsa.

//////

I bought my entire Halloween costume (sans tights & wig, so I guess it’s not “entire”) at Goodwill for $12. I’m really excited about it, even though my culturally inept Little says she has no idea who the “person” I’m being is.

I think I’m going to really like my new position at the Stater. I know it was a risk asking to be reassigned, but sometimes you have to do what’s going to keep you sane, & if I value anything these days, it’s my sanity. I’ve been assigned to write about a local guy who may win a reality TV show – neat!

((()))

PS, apparently I’m actually a closet sci-fi geek. First The 4400 and now this – Heroes. Kinda cool.

Semper Fi,

Sgt. Walsh:

Thank you for everything.

Click here.